hold me tight | yoonmin

i love you

jimin finally arrived at yoongi's apartment. he was probably making a lot of noise running up the stairs, and he was out of breath too—breathing like he's been deprived of oxygen. it hurts. his heart hurts. with one swift motion, he turns the door knob to Yoongi's apartment.

it clicks open.

he was greeted to a horribly unclean house, blood markings trailing against the wall, and pillows thrown every where. it's a mess, and it seemed like Yoongi had an emotional breakdown. Jimin found himself sweating, and his hands were trembling as his eyes followed the trail of red.

jimin also noticed blood stained glass. Yoongi probably had broken the glass and hurt himself with it. jimin hated when yoongi hurt himself. when he cut, when he threw up food he had eaten, and when he'd never eat. he tried to tell Yoongi to stop so many times—but even if Yoongi had said he would—Jimin knew Yoongi would relapse.

jimin crept deeper in the apartment. he heard a quiet muffled sob coming from the bathroom.

he looked down at the door knob, it was bloody, and Jimin gasped. he hurt himself.

did yoongi point guns at his own heart?

jimin slowly opened the door, exposing him to a yoongi who was lying down against his bathtub, his arm full of cuts that weren't deep enough, and the elder shivering to the ice cold water which was stained red with yoongi's blood. Jimin gasped quietly, palm slapping his mouth before he could make a sound. his eyes widened as he saw this.

yoongi's hand gripped a knife tightly. he seemed like he was hesitant to actually kill himself — he thought, maybe there was still a point in me living, but yoongi quickly erased that thought from his mind. he didn't see jimin standing there before him. yoongi wept gently, steady tears running down his face. he wiped his tears, looking at the knife and pulling the great desire to destroy himself out, and finally taking action.

jimin saw yoongi take a deep breath, and he hesitantly and slowly moved the knife and pointed it against his stomach. this hands were trembling, maybe he didn't want to kill himself, but maybe he did. maybe he wanted to kill himself. maybe he just wanted to feel the pain go away, and maybe he wanted to live for years, just seeing jimin growing up with him. wether he was in love with someone else or not.

nobody gives a shit about that, yoongi thought.

and he moved the knife closer and closer to his stomach.

"no!" jimin cried, running in and grabbing the knife from yoongi's hands. "you can't do that!"

"jimin?! what the fuck are you doing here?!" yoongi shouted back, surprised. he didn't want jimin seeing him like this, bloody and dirty, disgusting. he didn't want jimin to see the real Yoongi. the mentally dysfunctional Yoongi. just, Yoongi.

"were you going kill yourself?! why?!" jimin cried, tears starting to fall out. the boy was not completely oblivious to yoongi killing himself. he observed yoongi and noticed that he always looked at knifes lustfully, as if he wanted to hurt himself with it. jimin called himself stupid for not taking action, ever. not talking about it with Yoongi. not comforting him. not telling him, you're loved and everything will be alright.

"no, i'm fucking okay," yoongi replied, trying to pull the knife back from jimin's hands. they were both shaking. Yoongi didn't have the energy to take the object away from jimin.

"you're not fucking okay yoongi hyung, you're sick, I can practically see your veins protrude out of your neck, you always seem so lost, and you always seem hopeless!" jimin shouted fiercely at yoongi, crying his eyes out.