Building a Family

Tensions at the Barbecue

"I think maybe it would be nice if Roland spent the long weekend at my house," Marian said. "I have a room set up for him and it'll give us a chance to bond."

Robin bristled at the suggestion, not sure it was a good idea. But he didn't want to respond, knowing that it would just cause a fight. So he watched Archie, who studied Marian with a concerned look in his eyes.

She frowned. "Why are you looking at me like that? I'm his mother, I should be able to spend time with him."

"Yes, but you've only just re-entered his life," Archie said. "I don't think Roland is going to be ready to spend such a long amount of time with you."

"Long? It's only three days, maybe two or three nights!" Marian protested. "That's not very long."

Robin frowned now. "Roland's never spent more than a night away from me and always at Will's. I don't know how he will react to being away in a strange new place without me."

"Does he stay at Regina's?" she asked, the bitterness clear in her voice.

He bristled at her tone. "I don't see what that has to do with anything."

Archie's frown was turned to Robin now. "I think you do owe her an answer. Does Roland stay at Regina's?"

"He and I have spent the night at Regina's house a few times," he replied. "But I'm always with him. He has never spent a night alone at Regina's."

"Would you let him spend a long weekend at her house?" Marian asked, crossing her arms.

Robin paused, considering his answer. While they had talked about Roland sleeping over Regina's house, he realized he always imagined himself being there as well. "Probably not by himself. Not yet, anyway."

She hummed. "And what about little Regina? Has she slept over your house?"

"This isn't about Sophie," Archie said, shaking his head. "What Robin and Regina decide to do with her is between them and has no bearing on the decisions you two make regarding Roland."

"Doesn't it?" Marian countered. "Shouldn't he be treating both his children and their mothers the same?"

Archie shook his head. "The differences between the two relationships aside, the children are different as well. So it wouldn't be fair to Roland to treat him the same as a preteen, right?"

"I guess not," she mumbled, clearly upset. Loudly and clearly, she asked: "But do you agree that he should come stay with me?"

"Right now? No," Archie told her with a sigh.

Marian tensed up and her eyes narrowed. "And why not?"

"Because it's too soon, Marian," he replied. "We've talked about this. You need to be patient and understand that this will be a journey, not a sprint."

She crossed her arms, leaning back in her chair. "Why is everyone against me?"

Robin shook his head. "We're not against you, Marian. But we all need to put Roland first and do what's best for him. Like it or not, you're still a stranger to him and it's not in his best interest to spend a weekend with you."

"This seems to be a Catch-22 if you ask me," she protested. "The only way to bond with him is to spend more time with him but I can't spend more time with him until I bond with him!"

"No one is stopping you from bonding with him," Archie replied. "However, I am concerned that you are trying to speed up the process and force a bond that is very fragile. You don't want to push Roland away."

Robin nodded, adding softly: "He's only four years old, Marian."

"I know," she replied. "I am his mother."