Blue Skies

A/N the end(?)

Thank you for reading if you are!
This won't make sense to some, but these books and characters and stories have saved my life, I'm not exaggerating. I wouldn't be who I am today if it weren't for these books.
If you're interested in stories like these, go read Secrets.... by :-peachyiie-
They're a much better author than me and I still have no idea how I got to have mutuals with them, it's crazy and they're great.

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I want to take a moment to speak to you personally.

Hi! It's nice to meet you! I grew up with this story and I've honestly never read anything I like more.
Recently though, unlike the kid I was where I would stay up all night with none but a flashlight and a book, I've had to try.
My life has never been easy, and it never will be. The only things I had on my side was my humor and wit. I'm not trying to gloat, and if it sounds like I am I'm sorry. I've always hated everything I've ever done, but these were the things I knew I was good at.
Except, suddenly, I'm not in the highest classes of school. It's no surprise though, I refuse to do homework. My teachers still think I just need to apply myself more. And so, I am. I am trying to succeed, but it's always come to me naturally before, so what changed?
I've been at the point (for a while) where everything you do matters. Future colleges and jobs really start inspecting you now.
I won't say my age, I don't feel comfortable with that, but I will say that in a few months, I will either be accepted or rejected. So I've been devoting all my time to studying, reading school assigned books, tutoring younger kids, etc.

And that itself is manageable. What's not is the fact that whenever my friends gather in a group, exited and laughing at each other, I can't smile. It hurts so much to think about.
After all, they were counting on me. I gave my friends all my food, all my money, all my water, and I still feel like it was never enough. I was the favorite friend... but no one liked me. They all treated me different, they assured me that I was so nice to them, but they don't notice when I'm not near them. They don't notice my silence, my tears, my starvation, my dehydration, my depression, my fears, and I hate it.
It was only when I started to focus on my work that they asked me why I don't hang out with them anymore. I feel bad, and I feel like it's never gonna end.

I have no one. I'm not anyone's best friend, I'm not anyone's lover, I'm not anyone's student, I'm just nobody.
Even now, you have no idea who I am. I'm just a random person behind a screen.

I feel bad, and I have to study. Sometimes I wonder if this is it, if this is all there is.
This is the end of the story. Whether it's the end of mine or the end of this book is up for you to decide.
I am not suicidal right now, I'm just busy.

Rest assured that this book series will always have my heart.

And who knows, maybe the end is never the end.