DRABBLES | ocs, canon, x reader

faithful , x reader , angst , sequel to faithless

angst. the story is not yet complete— another one shot will follow, but it does not end happy.

also surprise surprise the pairing is!! poly!!

it's also fairly short— like 750-something words
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Someone you barely recognized was there when you woke.

Your mouth was dry, the air searing your seemingly cracked throat.

"Faith?" a familiar name from an unfamiliar voice.

You turned to see one of the two people who Poe always talked about.

"Y—" you erupted into a coughing fit. He was suddenly at your side, pressing a electrolyte pouch into your hands.

"Take your time," he said. His hands almost hovered over you, as if he wanted touch you but was unsure.

"You're Finn," you finally managed. Your voice rasped.

Finn offered you a sheepish smile. "Yeah, that's me." His throat bobbed. A second of awkward silence floated between you two.
"Poe asked me to keep an eye on you."

"Oh." You couldn't manage much more.

You felt a tug.

Finn inhaled sharply beside you.

"I'll— I'll go get you some caf. I think you need— need some caf."

You did need caf. Another quiet five minutes and a cup of caf made you feel like half a person again, and the shower you would take after getting discharged would complete you.

"How did you meet Poe?"

You suppressed a smile.
"He approached me in the cafeteria a little after I'd been transferred here. Immediately after being told to steer clear of me."

Finn laughed, a nice laugh— and it made you feel the same way Poe's felt— like a cup of cocoa on a rainy, dreary day, like you had two feet firmly on the ground.

The pair of you lapsed into silence again, this one comfortable.

"We've met before, haven't we?" Finn seemed startled by the fact you were the one to break the silence.

"I didn't expect you to remember. especially since I was wearing a helmet."

It'd be hard not to remember you, you nearly said. You catch the words before they drop from your tongue, traitorous— faithful.

What had Poe done to you? You'd never found it so difficult to wear the cloak before, to hide behind words and façades.

"I have a good memory," you said instead. And it's as if Finn could sense the closing door, the steel trap and the padlock. He gave you a smile, stood up and took your empty cup, and left with the promise he'd send in the nurse for you.

☁︎︎

You had always thought your supernova must be brilliant to be noticed.

You didn't want to be like this. You hated being like this. And you hated bring other people down with you. It was better alone. Better to hurt them now then hurt them later, let you get hurt.

Better to let the monster rot and die in silence. That's what you were, right? Everything you had done for the Resistance— the blood staining your hands.
Oh— you had taken from this galaxy, you had taken its wonder and glory and replaced with aches. It was justified— for the Resistance, for freedom and peace. And if you had to pay the cost, you would be willing. This was your penance, your burden to bear, alone.

Poe and Finn didn't seem to see it that way.

Constantly by your side, unable to be pulled away by anyone save Leia Organa herself.

There was a vigil tonight. An entire transport ship and its escort squadron— gone. Dust.
There was a bonfire, a toast, a speech.
Luminous beings, Poe had said.

The stars never looked so dim.

"Faith?" Finn looked at you with concern, reaching out and grasping your hand in his. "What's wrong?" He rubbed his thumb over the back of your palm in soothing circles. You watched your intertwined hands in the flickering firelight.

You don't think you could ever fully speak of what hurts you. It's like a singularity, a curse, as if speaking it would make it true, make it hurt like the wound was still raw.
You opened your mouth. No sound came out.

It must be raining— drops of water kisses your skin as it met your intertwined hands.
Your next breath came in a shudder.

"Hey, hey, it's okay. Breathe with me."

Breathe? The galaxy was ending, smothered in darkness and dictatorship, and Finn wanted you to breathe?
This was all so stupid. You felt stupid. For thinking you alone— or even your entire squad could change the endless marching tide of time.
The galaxy began in darkness— and so it would end the same.

You were tearing your hand away, spinning and half-stumbling off into the woods, searching for something— anything— to lift this pressure from your lungs suffocating you.