Imani is starting her first week at Hillview Willow, a private elementary school. Only the most richest parents send their children there and for the most part, the school has very professional, prim and proper teachers working there. Key word; "mos...
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The funeral was way more beautiful than my mom deserved. The service being so sweet thanks to the reverend who I doubt spent anytime with the woman considering he was using words like "charming" and "captivating" to describe her. It doesn't matter anyway, it's not like the words mean anything. She's gone.
The entire service, Matteo didn't leave my side, occasionally rubbing my back whenever he noticed my jittery leg. I couldn't tell him enough how much I appreciated this whole thing. I gave him a tight-lipped smile to let him know I was alright. It was strange when I first entered the church because I was so sure I didn't feel anything, like I was numb to the fact that my mother was gone and not coming back but I was wrong when I felt the wave of sadness drown me after the service started.
Throughout the service, listening to family members and close friends walk up to the podium and share filtered stories about my mom, I realized I wasn't numb, I was going to miss her. It wasn't all bad, my mom and I had good moments that I couldn't help but be reminded of when Kayla hit the stage. She shared a story about when we were all in the kitchen helping mom bake cookies for her middle school soccer team. This was after she left rehab the first time and we were all naïve and thought this was the first and last time she would be there.
After sharing how much of a mess we all made, with dad coming home joining in the fun starting a food fight all while the cookies were burning, I laughed at the memory, not noticing the stream of tears running down my cheeks. It was stupid, I was supposed to hate her for everything she's done to us, for how she treated me...so why was I crying?
The fact that I could drive to her home, and she would no longer be there made me feel...sick. I don't know. All I know was that she was no longer here, so if there was ever a chance to fix what was broken...it was gone now.
After the funeral, we drove back to the house. Everyone was quiet once inside, choosing to split into different parts of the house, most likely getting their things ready for departure. We were all leaving soon to go back to our regular lives, maybe never speaking to each other again. I go down the hall into my room to start packing my suitcase. Once I enter the old room, I get to work, finding my belongings.
"Hey Mani," Kayla breaks the silence as she shyly enters the room almost right after I had just gone inside, maneuvering to sit beside me on the squeaky bunk bed.
"Hi Kayla," I hate how weak and defeated I sounded right now. I didn't have the energy to fake being strong in front of anyone right now.
"So...what's the plan for the rest of the day?" She questions, a small smile on her face and I stare at her with a curious expression. I didn't know what she meant by the question. I was planning on spending the rest of the day packing and getting the hell out of here first thing tomorrow morning. "Packin, so I can leave."
"We have like the rest of the day to hang out, like a family again, and you want to spend it in your room packing? Don't be lame, lets have a movie night and bake treats." she excitedly suggests. You would've never been able to tell that she had just come back from her mother's funeral 38 minutes ago.
I shake my head, failing to hold back a smile. "Sounds fun, but I don't think I wanna see anybody for the rest of the day. I kinda just need to be alone for a while." I answer her and she rolls her eyes.
"C'mon, it'll be fun. Like when we were younger. It's not like we'll be able to do after today, everybody's going their own way so stop being lame and come bake with us."
"I'm not even sure Ian or Corinna wants to be around me." I told her as I continued to fold my shirts into a neat pile in the suitcase. I hadn't spoken to either before or during the funeral, occasionally meeting their teary eyes but never walking up to either of them to spark up a convo.
"What do you mean? Of course, they want to be around you." It's her turn to stare at me in confusion now.
"Corinna and Ian made it very clear how they felt about me coming here." I say with a scoff.
"Which is?"
"That I should've never came." I explained to her. I don't know what I expected her reaction to be, but it definitely wasn't her busting out laughing.
I stared at her with my eyebrows pinched together. She was laughing so hard; she had to lean over and clutch her stomach in pain. "Alright now, it ain't that funny." I muttered under my breath as she continued laughing.
Her laughter begins to die down and I watch as she wipes away an imaginary tear from her cheek. I should slap her. I think to myself as I wait for her to finish so she can tell me what was so funny about what I just said.
"Mani, of course we want you here. What the fuck. You're our sister, you basically raised us, hell, you raised me." she says, playfully pushing my shoulder.
"Really? Ian literally told me I had a lot of nerve for showing up here." I explain to her, and she rolls her eyes.
"Is he wrong?" She says with her hands raised.
"What?"
"Mani, you did just pack your shit up and disappear. We were already struggling with ma and filing a missing person report for you didn't make shit any easier. Of course he's going to be mad at you, shit I was mad at you for a while. But you're still my sister, and I love you and so does Corinna, and so does Ian and so does James and so does Gwen."
"They don't show it." I respond as I go back to folding.
"Do you remember when we were younger, and Ian literally broke Mrs. Garner's car windshield and they caught the nigga in 4-fucking-k on her security cam and he still denied it and said it was her cat. He would never want to show or admit that he misses you, but I can promise you, he misses you." She says and I let out a short laugh at the memory. If you asked him now, he would probably still deny it and say it was cupcake the cat.
He truly was a stubborn headed child.
"Also, don't tell them that I told you this." She starts off as she leans closer into me, way too close for comfort. "He was the first one to suggest we should find a way to reach you to let you know about mom." She admits, and I truly was shocked by the information.
"No, he didn't." I deny leaning away from her and the corner of her upper lipped is raised as she as she stood up.
"Ask him yourself later when we're baking cookies and brownies, right now we gotta talk about something important." She switches the convo and I'm all ears until she starts asking about Matteo and Mikey.
"So, the kid isn't yours, so you're a stepmom?"
"Ight, back to packin!"
"I'm not judging! A nigga like that? Shit, I'd become a stepmom too!"
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