Twenty-Three.

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-Steve-

They weren't lying about Russian torture. They beat us bloody, but I was the only one they hit in the face. They separated us, keeping the girls together and when they had beaten me to the point that I passed out they brought me back where the girls were.

I woke up tied to a chair, my back to Robin, and I could see Candy's legs when I turned my head. We were sitting in a triangle shape tied together. Robin was yelling out for help. I asked her to stop yelling.

"Steve!" Candy exclaimed. "Steve, are you okay?"

"My ears are ringing," I said, "I can't really breathe, and my eye feels like it's going to pop out of my skull. But, you know, apart from that I'm doing pretty good."

"Well, the good news is, they're calling you a doctor," Robin said, and she sounded optimistic about it. "You see that table over there, to the right?"

"Yeah," I said, looking in that direction.

"You see those scissors?"

"Yeah."

Robin spoke so quickly, I could hardly keep up due to the fact that I was disoriented from being beat the fuck up. "Yeah, well, I think that if we move at the same time, we could get over there and I could kick the table and knock them into your lap."

"Yeah, we can do that," I say, nodding as best as I could.

We began to move our chairs, but it didn't work. We fell. Robin began laughing. At first I thought she was crying, but she was just laughing.

Through her laughs, she was able to say, "I can't believe I'm going to die in a secret Russian base with my best friend and Steve 'The Hair' Harrington."

Candy began laughing too, "I'm going to die a virgin who has only ever kissed the guy who is having sex with my brother."

"We're not going to die," I say, trying to make them feel better, and most try to convince myself of it as well. "We're not going to die. We're going to get out of here, okay. You guys just have to let me think for a second."

Robin then confused the hell out of me when she asked, "Do you remember Mrs. Click's Sophomore history class?"

"What?" I ask, confused.

"It was the first period, Tuesdays and Thursdays, so you were always late. It was two days a week for a year. Mister Funny. Mister Cool. The King of Hawkins High himself. Do you even remember me from that class?" After a moment of silence she said, "Of course you don't. You were a real asshole, you know that?"

"Yeah," I sigh, "I know."

"But it didn't even matter. It didn't matter that you were an ass. I was still obsessed with you. So was Candy, but you know that. Even though all of us losers pretend to be above it all we still just want to be popular. Accepted. Normal."

"If it makes you feel any better having those things isn't all that great," I said, "I can spend my entire life trying to prove myself to people and they still think I'm such a smug asshole. I only just got Candy to agree to go on a date with me last night. It just baffles me that everything people tell you is important, everything people say you should care about, it's all just...Bullshit. I guess you gotta mess up to figure things out, right?"

"I hope so," Robin said, "I feel like my life has been one big error."

We all laughed. "See," Candy said, "That was a sweet moment. If it wasn't so hard to breathe from this angle I'd be laughing too."

That only made us laugh harder. "Candy, I promise you when we get out of here I'm going to kiss you."

Robin laughed, "Please do so she shuts up about you."

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