Kill, Love, Repeat

Chapter Sis

                                                     Past

That dream felt real. Maybe that would happen if I stayed with him. I looked at Felix as he went back to sleep in seconds. I had to do something to keep him safe. Because I care for him with no questions asked. I fell in love with Felix because he showed that I deserved love, that I could love someone and have almost a normal life. And I was grateful and always will be. But I couldn't let this happiness end like this.                                                                                                                    

And more importantly, was I the killer everyone is saying? Did I kill all of these men because there was something wrong with me? I felt fear and I didn't like that feeling. I needed it to go away. So I made a decision. I need Felix to be safe and sound and I need to figure out what I do every night I'm not in bed. I have no other choice but to start keeping my distance from him. But it won't be easy.

After my return from the US. The dreams kept coming frequently, some were about the kills that already happened. Others were new, and in one of them I think I was almost caught by the cops but I managed to escape. I don't know what is real or not. These dreams don't make sense to me. I haven't slept well in days.

I thought it would be okay if I had Felix next to me, but there was no difference. That night, I tried to stay awake but I was tired. I didn't sleep for forty-five hours. My eyes were not responding to my command to open them. So I fell asleep.

I'm awake finally. I don't remember dreaming anything. I was glad. But all of a sudden, there was a shadow next to the door. How did they get into the house in the first place without us knowing? I couldn't move my arms or legs. I was paralyzed. I was calling for help but... what was happening? I couldn't speak. He was next to me and he couldn't hear anything. Screaming was useless, I felt useless. I could just lay down there watching that shadow getting closer to him. My heart was pounding fast. 

Next, I was finding it very hard to breathe. As if something was on top of my chest. I was about to lose someone precious to me and I could not do anything literally. Please let it be a dream, please. With all my strength I try to make my body respond to my command. And when I did, I woke up screaming. My lovely Detective who was working on his laptop in the dining room saw me and came straight away. "Hey Maddie, it's okay. It was just a nightmare," he reassured me. But I was angry and scared at the same time that I had to ask. 

"What the hell, Felix? Did you not hear my screams and my cry for help? I was sure I screamed my lungs out" I grabbed him by his shirt, looking all over the room and confused "Did you not see me suffocating? I was crying in my dream. You were in danger and I couldn't move. Maybe I was drugged so maybe that's why I couldn't move!" Without wanting it, I cried again.

"Oh, my darling. You were profoundly asleep," he touched my face, wiping my tears. "I was watching you the whole time. From the dining room. You seemed fine, you may have had a sleep paralysis?"

"What? "I asked, finishing wiping the tears from my face.

"It mostly happens when you are about to sleep or about to wake up. Your whole body isn't responding to your commands. You can't move at all, your eyes are open  and you feel like something or someone is in the room and you have trouble breathing...," He took his hands to hold my face on each side and said "It only happens for twenty seconds or so. You are safe, it wasn't real."