Four

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The cold November wind bit at my cheeks as I walked down the street, tote bags in hand. I was walking down the street to the local grocery store. I had really underestimated how cold it would be up here on the northern part of the East Coast. Pulling my jacket closer to me, I look up at the sky and let out a shaky breath. 

After Detective Loki had left the other night, I made myself busy with house chores and ordered Chinese takeout for Mark and I. He came home and pretty much left me alone, which I was used to. I couldn't complain, though. It was easier to be left alone than to be pestered by a man-child that I wasn't even sure I loved anymore. 

It was a hard task, hiding all of my subconscious smiles from him when thinking about Detective Loki. I knew that if he saw me smiling to myself like an idiot for no reason at all, he'd know something was up. As much as I wanted to settle down and start a new chapter in this sleepy little town, I wanted so bad to get away from Mark. I needed to get away from him. I wanted to go to New York City, become a freelance writer and live my dream. Or just start it somewhere, at least. Some place where I couldn't be found.  And with the sea of bustling people in New York, it seemed like the perfect place. I would maybe even travel, or find love somewhere in the breezy countryside of Paris, France. It's a cliché dream, but it's what I wanted, and what I strived for. I smiled to myself thinking of traveling with Detective Loki, but I shot it down instinctively. I didn't even know the man. Before I met Mark, I had aspirations. I had a heart full of love and gave it to the first person who asked. And it got me nowhere good. I didn't want to make the same mistake again.

With my jean-covered legs being on auto-pilot and my mind elsewhere, I reached the main street pretty fast. Watching the bustle of the neighborhood brought me a small joy. I strolled past some city workers putting up Christmas decorations. I wondered if I could get out by Christmas. But as much as the thought of leaving to New York City so soon appealed to me, I wanted to take a break from being so on edge. Mark was working nearly all day, and I usually had the house to myself, to do whatever I wanted until I would start my new job. I made a mental note to myself to keep myself calm, and stay on Mark's good side if I wanted my temporary stay here to be the least bit enjoyable. 

I took a deep breath, and inhaled the crispy winter air that smelled of wet leaves and café food. Entering the market, I grabbed a shopping cart and headed to the first isle I saw. I planned on walking around for a good bit, getting to know the market and what I could bring home all by myself. I need to invest in a car, once I start working. I can't rely on him to take me everywhere. i thought to myself. 

Walking mindlessly throughout the isles, I reached the frozen section where I planned on rummaging. I loved to cook, I thought of it as an art. I cooked all the time when Mark and I first started dating. He loved my cooking, and that was one of the first things we did together once we made our relationship official. We loved to do it together. But now, I couldn't bring myself to put as much love into it as I used to. I missed it. 

I picked up some frozen garlic toast, pondering making Spaghetti and Meatballs for dinner, when I heard a familiar voice behind me. 

"I personally like the New York Bakery brand. Or better yet, homemade." I turned and was face-to-face with Detective Loki. He was wearing a black winter coat, zipped up to his jaw, covering that neck tattoo that I liked to stare at. His hair was slicked back and neat as always, and his smell instantly drifted towards my direction. I remembered not to sniff so hard this time. 

"Oh! It's you" I say with a toothy grin and a chuckle. "Yeah, I make a bomb garlic toast from scratch, but I'm not in a huge cooking mood today, you know how it is." I toss the toast into my cart with a shrug, leaning on my shopping cart to face him. 

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