my yellow

12 (postcards4jackie

hey love,

you know as i'm writing this i promised myself not to miss you that much. but the thing is, i miss you like crazy already. i long for you like how the moon longs for the sun to take over, need you so badly like a bee that needs its honey; it's impossible to survive this and every winter without you, love.

i'm really glad to celebrate christmas with you this year. i guess to you, knowing you've spent countless christmas eves with your family, all of this may seem normal -- but to me this entire experience of having your heart to keep again, is nothing short of a christmas miracle. it feels like magic, even when it's not christmas. and love, you told me the other night that you're sad you didn't get me anything this year, you don't have to worry about it because to me, the greatest gift of all is having you around. i'm sure i told you this over and over at this point, but material things do wither and break. having you though is a completely different story; you will never break, and most certainly never wither. we'll patch each other up all the time and carry on, right?

you mean the world to me, i'll happily tell you that every single day. i'm the lucky one, and i will always be the lucky one. forgive mr. redundant for a good second and let him say that you're everything that matters to him, that you're the greatest gift of all; the shoe to my strings and the mistle to my toe. if you were here i'd hold you so tight, you might complain a little but i'll embrace you a bit longer. i don't regret that much these days, but i certainly wish that i held onto you much longer the last time i saw you. but don't you worry about that, love, we'll see each other again. one day i will ask for your hand, grab ahold of it and never let go, i promise you that.

i love you so dearly. you make every single day feel like christmas, everything always feels so new to me and it's been going on and on in the last 5 years that i'm with you. i'm over the clouds from the joy of having to spend my time with you around everyday. you are, and will always be the special one. i still owe you a ring and a lot of fancy dinner reservations. i could write about you for days on end until my hands tire out of exhaustion, i love you so much it makes my heart bleed. it might sound cliché or cringe, but you will have me forever and ever. i love you so much, so damn much! merry christmas, love!

sending you all my love from faraway :')

—nikolai