Nandi's POV
I had a one hour break between my classes so I sat outside on the Aula grass close to the engineering building. It was a huge spot so many students were chilling here.
I was journaling when I took a break to check my phone, as per usual, my WhatsApp messages were dry without Minami blowing up my phone.
I really miss her. I miss my best friend so much. I miss her hugs. I miss how she'd bombard me with messages in between her lectures.
I went onto Bumble, opened a recent chat and continued chatting to the person.
Kaylin: Maybe being with me will change that
Nandi: 😹😹😹 it doesn't work that way
Kaylin: are you a virgin? 👀
Nandi: virginity has absolutely nothing to do with asexuality tho...
This person has unmatched you.
"Seems like I dodged a bullet anyway."
I locked my phone and looked up.
There was a couple sitting on the grass holding hands.
Ugh! I don't need this right now.
My heart burned with a cocktail of feelings. Rage at the fact that I'm an aspec person. Sadness that my family and friends expect me to feel that way about somebody, yet I'm unable to. No matter how hard I try.
I just want to scream!
I felt anger at all the media I've consumed in my life, subliminally promising me that one day I'll have to experience romance, but yet here I am, only able to experience it from an outsider's perspective.
Why can't I be in love like them? Like everyone else?
Why does my sexuality have to be such a huge imposition in finding a partner?
Why am I not normal?
I scrolled through Instagram to distract myself.
Afton had posted a story. It was from yesterday. She was at McDonald's with Keandre.
Seeing their friendship made me wish that Minami's was still in my life.
I tapped on Afton's other stories and found that she had posted an informational post about asexuality.
I tapped the like option on the story.
I was seen by someone in this world. I felt seen by Afton.
Is she's ace or just an ally?
It would be cool to have an acespec person in my life.
I quickly went into her YouTube and scrolled down to see if she had a coming out video.
None.
It's understandable though. Asexuality is probably the weirdest thing to explain...well, to me it is. I can't imagine broadcasting it to the intern-
My phone vibrated. It was an Instagram notification.
@afton.swartz: Hello🌻 this may be super out of the blue but I think you're a really nice girl and I would love to go out with you for some coffee sometime
Or ice cream
Whatever you prefer haha 🙈
I smiled.
Maybe today isn't so bad after all...
@nandi_shange: that's really sweet of you. I think you're cool too. We should meet up yes 👩❤️💋👩
My phone vibrated, but it was just another match on Bumble.
Too tired of that shit.
Author's Note:
Thank you so much for reading!
Don't forget to vote and comment! 💕
Glossary:
Acespec: somebody on the asexual spectrum
Aspec: somebody on the asexual and aromantic spectrum
