Fall from Grace | Hermitcraft x Empires SMP AU

Impulse: Anger

// minor self harm implication //

When his emotions got bad, Impulse turned to fighting, to feel better.

It was a new development, come season 9. Something he hadn't done before in previous seasons.

Sometimes he'd fight other hermits, sparring with Iskall, or volunteering to test games despite (or maybe because of) the danger. Sometimes he'd fight mobs, and sometimes he'd even fight himself, picking himself apart piece by piece as he holed himself away in his base.

He'd dent his walls in his anger, punching over and over until he ached. And if that didn't work, then he'd smash glass, throwing panes against the floor until they shattered over and over again. And if even that didn't work, then Impulse would let himself stand by a mob grinder, letting the mobs maul him until he felt better.

But he was okay. He had to be okay. Impulse didn't have it nearly as bad as Grian did, Grian was still distraught. Nobody except for Scar and Pearl saw Grian anymore, and even then they were rarely into Grian's base.

And perhaps this was to do with how Mumbo had disappeared, but Impulse didn't like to think about it. Because if he thought about it, it'd only make him upset. And Impulse didn't want to deal with that right now.

But even as he fiddled with his villagers, ignoring their stares as he traded over and over with them, Impulse's mind couldn't help but wander back to Mumbo. Nobody knew what had happened to him, something that deeply concerned Impulse.

Xisuma had assumed that Mumbo was dead. And considering the permadeath status of the server, Impulse couldn't doubt that it was likely.

But why hadn't there been a death message in the chat? Surely if Mumbo had been killed somehow, a message would have come up in chat. That's what had happened for every other hermit that had ever died, though  it was a rare occurrence.

There was no other explanation than death, however. Which just rendered Impulse confused.

It didn't matter though. None of it did, because Mumbo was gone now, and Impulse regretted deciding to spend his time in season 8 with the stupid Boatem area, because maybe he wouldn't have spiraled as much if he'd rarely seen the mustached man the season prior.

One of Impulse's villagers made a concerned noise at him, But Impulse ignored it, turning away. He would worry about his trading later. He couldn't focus, and he needed...

He didn't know what he needed.

He wanted to break something. He wanted to hurt, and he wanted to be hurt. But deep down, he knew that wasn't what he needed.

Impulse flared his elytra and headed towards his slowly growing megabase, asking if Zedaph, Tango and Scar could come visit him.

---

By the time he'd reached his base, Scar was already there, waiting. The expression on his face was unreadable, though not unkind, and Jellie poked her head up from where she was sitting on Impulse's lap. Jellie's green eyes peered into Impulse's, and he sighed, crumpling against a nearby wall.

Scar wheeled his chair closer to where Impulse was, and Jellie launched off of his lap, instead going to comfort Impulse. Her mews and purrs as she pressed herself into Impulse's side were soothing, and he scooped her up.

Tango and Zedaph showed up pretty soon after, The demon's leather wings flaring slightly when he noticed how upset Impulse was. Zedaph bleated in response, quickly covering his mouth when he realised.

That made Impulse laugh. Zed had never quite learned to restrain some of his animalistic instinct, after becoming a sheep hybrid.

"What happened?" Tango broke the silence. Impulse looked up from where he was stroking Jellie.

"Nothing, I just didn't want to be alone right now. Couldn't be alone right now," he said. It was almost embarrassing, if not for how Zedaph immediately set next to Impulse. He placed a gentle hand  on Impulse's shoulder, and when Impulse turned to look at him, Zedaph smiled.

"We're always here, yknow? That's what Team ZIT's all about." 

Tango chimed in with an agreement. "Of course, what are friend's for?"

Scar leaned back in his chair, remaining silent. Impulse noticed, though he didn't think either Zed or Tango would have. Scar probably knew why Impulse had been so upset.

None of the Boatem crew were doing well after Mumbo vanished. Not Grian, not Pearl, nor Impulse. And he had very few doubts that Scar was similarly suffering.

But the selfish part of Impulse told himself to let Scar take care of him. He didn't know if it was the right thing to do. But he let himself do it anyways.

If Scar ever needed him, Impulse would be there. He had no doubt's about that. And no matter how much he hated that he'd grown far too attached, there was no changing the past. The Boatem crew would help each other out, through all this.

And maybe, just maybe.

That would be enough.