Parallel

First Parallel: TO DUST

"Our love existed between what if
and if only"
⁃ L.E. Bowman

***
Greggy's POV:

Six decades.

That's how long I have been living my life, yet right now? It seems like it still is not enough. While I am a firm believer of fate, how a person is destined to do something, to be something, I also do acknowledges the fact that sometimes, people's decisions can alter such fate every now and then.

I'm a surgical doctor. Married and with one child.My son, Alfonso, turned forty two this year. It was during one of our college org parties that I got his mother pregnant. We're friends since high school. One party lead to another, one shot after the other, and before even one of us became truly mature and responsible, she's pregnant carrying my child.

On the summer of that year, we got married. Please don't get me wrong. She's been nothing but amazing mother to Alfonso. And very supportive of me. We're good friends before everything else happened, but in my heart.. that's all we will ever be.

No matter what I do, I just cannot find it in me to love her the way she loves me. But we managed to keep it together for Alfonso, for he is the most important. All is well somehow. Though intimacy is something I cannot really offer my wife, we thrive in our family life by the guidance of our mutual respect for each other.

At one point, I thought, I'll be okay with all of this. Not until that fateful flight I took some fifteen years ago, when I met the most wonderful human being. I was en route to a medical conference in Dubai. I was part of the delegation for the Philippines. That's how I met her. That's when I first saw her. She's one of the flight attendants and I will never forget how her smile lit up my world. When lost my passport on my second day, as if by any chance, it was her who helped me out, accidentally.

I always knew how some flight attendants spend their free time. Layover as she would call it. So I thought, when we're having such a good time, those will all pass us by. That maybe, whatever happens in Dubai, stays in Dubai. But boy, was I so wrong! I lost count how many times I battled with myself internally to not go that path. To not be like some of the men I knew. To not hurt my wife whether I am in love with her or not. To not do this to my son.

I ended up buying a residential property in the secluded neighborhood of Calamba, overlooking Mt. Makiling. That has been my safe haven. Our safe haven. I am twenty two years her senior. When I first thought about it, I never imagined it would last this much. But fifteen years later, we are still together. She was just twenty three when we started our illicit relationship, she's now thirty eight and we are still here. But not for long.

***
Couple of months ago, I found out that I have stage two colorectal cancer. My family already knows. I have to tell them because of the treatments I need to undergo for. But Irene? She doesn't know anything. I wanted to spare her from the agony of seeing me in pain, physically.

So I told her what I believed is the most acceptable reason for us to let each other go. That I am coming back to my family.

If you ever wonder if they knew about Irene and I? They do. I've been brutally honest with them. I know I've caused great deal of pain to them, but I simply cannot just let go of her. I love Irene with all my heart. In every single beat of my heart, it's only been her.
As stupid as it may be, as callous as I am, I cannot love another woman as much as I love her. And to let her go this way, to end things with her, to turn my back to the life we shared together, is already killing me even before this cancer has.

Irene never pushed for things she knows she's not supposed to, even if she can. She never asked me to stay longer or to extend a day or two.
She never contends for the things she knows are for family first. All of my Christmases and New years and birthdays and all other special occasions, she made sure that I spent them all with Alfonso and my wife.