Parallel

Sixth Parallel: 1996

"I fell in love with her when we were together, then fell deeper in love with her in the years we were apart."- Nicholas Sparks, Dear John

***
GREGGY's POV:

I am standing at the far end of the altar, waiting for her. I closed my eyes briefly allowing myself to be transported back in time... back in 1983 when I first met her. Those singkit eyes, the way she scrunched her nose or her casually biting her lips.

My memory wanders through that Valentines of 1986 when I proposed to her. The anger it brought my family and the shock it gave her father. That last week of February changed our lives in more ways than one. I was told they're to be transferred to Paoay only to watch in the news afterwards that they are already in Hawaii.

So much has happened since then. Clea is jumping up and down from her seat when the wedding march starts playing. Just like me, her eyes are fixed to her Mommy Irene. While Alfonso, our nine year old son is standing beside his mom, their hands locked together as they start walking.

She's wearing this simple white dress. Her hair tied neatly and her make up's done in a very light manner you could barely tell if she's actually wearing any.

The cold air here in Tagaytay is adding more romance to what's already romantic scenes. The attendees are just below a hundred, Irene wanted this whole wedding to be just as intimate as it can be.

Her eyes found mine, she gave me her sweetest smile. I can't help but smile myself. I am tearing up inside. She's so beautiful. Her dad would have been so proud.

The ceremony ended in a flash. Where has the time gone by? Or was I dozing off? It doesn't matter. All I can see now is Irene. She looks so happy, genuinely happy.

'May I now present to you, Mr. and Mrs. Jonvic Remulla'. That line killed me more than anyone can ever know. More than anyone would ever know.

She's married. To the person she loves. And here I am standing very near to her yet if feels the farthest. I'm dying inside. Over and over I died.

'Greggy! Oh my God, you came! Thank you so much ha?'
"Congratulations. You look beautiful."
'Naku, thank you. Can I bring Clea with me? Sa car, I mean? Ayaw magpa iwan ehh.'
"Sure. I'll get Alfy, para kami na yung magkasama sa reception."

She nodded while smiling. I wanted to tell her that her wedding's perfect. That she is perfect. But I can't. I should not. I am here to support our son. That's all.

Had I known that she's already pregnant with Alfonso, I would never let her be on her own on that 1986 flight. But she hasn't found out about it until she's already five thousand miles away from me.

I should've fought harder. I never should have let her go. As much as I allow myself to bask in a hundred what ifs, it will never be enough.

I love her. So much. I love her still. With every fiber of my being, I am still in love with Irene. But in the end, it all comes down to this thought of mine: I thought I had more time to love her.

My heart will always remember the way she loved me. Always. And I just have to live my life content watching her from a distance.

'Tito Gweggy!' That's Clea. Her three year old daughter with Jonvic.
"Yes, Clea?"
'See you ahh? Bwing Kuya Awfie, pwish?'
"Opo. Now go, naghihintay na si Mommy mo."

'Mommy is sooo pwetty no?'
"Yes, baby. Very pretty."

I watch as their car disappears from our view. I've made it through the whole ceremony. I can make it til the reception.

'Dad?'
"Alfie, anak. Let's go. Your mommy might start looking for you."
'Do you still love her?'
"Very much, buddy."

'Why didn't you fight for her, then? I mean.. kayo sana ulit?'
"I've caused her great amount of pain already. She deserves better. One day, you will understand."

I pat my son's shoulder before I open the door for him. There's silence inside the car, but I'm glad for it. It afforded me some time to think about her, again.

Part of me breaks at the thought of her being close enough yet untouchable. But a lost love, a broken love, an unrequited love.. is still love, is it not?
We may not end up together, we may found our separate ways, but my story with Irene will always be a favorite of mine.

It was a decade ago when I dreamt of us sharing an eternity together. And here she is, standing so closely with me after she vowed to give her forever with someone else.

'Thank you, Greggy ha?'
"It's fine. Paulit ulit ka, panget mo."

Her smile is enough for me to understand what she meant. She's thanking me not just for my attendance today but for the life we have lived. For the love we once shared, for Alfonso.