Hello, Goodbye..

Arc I: Chapter VIII

I slowly opened my eyes, not seeing nor noticing any sunlight. Instead, I saw a flame. An oil lamp. The only thing that brought any form of light into this room, if we exclude the moon that is.

The moonlight was beautiful, yet, the oil lamp, the dancing flame inside, drew me in. I felt relaxed in the moonlight, yet.. Drawn to the flame. Cozy, warm.

'I can't believe I cried myself to sleep in his arms though..'
I didn't want to admit it, it was embarrassing to me after all.. But, I'm so thankful to have him. So.. Grateful.

I slowly stood up, as if possessed.
Moving towards the outside area, with the oil lamp in hand.

The fire, led the way and something, was guiding me. Calling me. Drawing me in.. Leading the way.. I did not know my destination. I did not know, why I was moving on my own, as if possessed.. Yet, I did not worry. I didn't panic..

It just felt, right.

At some point, I arrived on top of the waterfall. I had no clue how I made it here, yet I did.
I started to hear all kinds of melodies. Music, songs. Funnily enough, they didn't scare me. It, filled me.. With all kinds of emotions.

This place, was magical.

It had a certain charm to it, the nighttime, add in the full moon, making it seem even more magical.
I could hear them, feel them even, different melodies, different tunes.. Some sounding Sorrowful, tragic.. Yet, Soothing in some way. Others sounding joyful, excited.. Yet, Scared, in some way. It was, expressive.. Yet, sincere and touching.

It made me feel.. As if I was surrounded, by friends. That I wasn't the only one suffering, yet moving on. It made me have hope, that I could do it. Could do something. That there was still beauty in it, even if it was hard.. That my suffering wasn't worthless, that I wasn't worthless.

That I could move on.

I should be scared, yet.. I felt supported. Loved, taken care of.. Safe.

I then proceeded to walk closer to the waterfall, I was on top of it after all. What I didn't know.. Was that there was this, small pond thing on top. Yet.. It was steaming slightly, I carefully dipped my hand into the water and.. Oddly enough, it felt, warm?

As if there was a Volcano or something.. It wasn't cold. It made me want to bath in it for some reason.. To look around, relax, listen and just.. Enjoy the warmth..

Before I realized it, I slowly took off my clothes and walked into the water. It wasn't to deep, it was perfect, as if it was made for bathing. This area.. Where the moonlight was shining on to, was refreshing.. Relaxing. Peaceful.

I began to clean myself and to, well, contemplate. About what I've done thus far, what I've achieved, if I .. Changed.

After collecting my thoughts.. And, well, setting goals.
That I'd proceed forward. That I wouldn't be trapped in the past, that I would look forward to the future. Slowly accept that.. I'm not to blame for all the bad in this world. That, I'm allowed to be happy.. And that I have to seek it on my own.

I can't expect anyone to give their life to make me happy, I can't blame anyone for my unhappiness. I should take care of myself, make my own choices and, carve my own path.

For I'm myself and I can find my happiness.. Everybody's happiness is different after all.
Honestly, I feel like I already found it.
He.. Pulled me out of my Abyss, eased my uneasiness, reassured me.. Loves me.
He made me realize. Made me take note of from where I went wrong. I realized, due to him, that..

I'm not alone, so, I'll keep trying hard to survive and.. I'll try to help others as well. Other lost souls, just like I was in a way. Because, I can try. Trying won't hurt anyone.. At least I tried to do something, to help.