No Way Out(A Jerome Valeska Fanfiction)

Strung Up

Wow...just...wow. How long have I been gone? December so...like 8 months? Is that...the right math? I have no idea. But it hasn't been a year! Haha--alright, I can totally see that you're not amused so I'll shut up with the comical crap. But look! I have good reasons! So much crap has happened in my life and it's insane but that's not what you're here for so let's not talk about it!

So...remember that special I talked about? Well...let's just say it proved to be much more difficult than I thought it would be, it was just...very hard to figure out how to even manage making a Christmas-y thing related to...this? Idk, it was frustrating. And the time of year is kinda off...but hey, ya know what? It's my thingy, so I can post a Christmas story at whatever time of year I want! No one said I couldn't! And if they did, I didn't hear 'em as I usually have my ears plugged so that when people tell me to do things and I inevitably don't do them I can be like "I'm sorry, I didn't know!" and it works. Anyway so I ended up forgetting about the special every other week and now it's like...half-way done. I *will* finish it, I'm a woman of my word, but I don't know *when* exactly it will be--Maybe later today, for all I know(please don't hold me to that, I never live up to expectations so *dont* expect it of me and I might just do it)

Now, I've got some bad news...for the millionth time: I have no idea what I'm doing. It's...very frustrating. I'm so confused about this story, I have a whole doc of it but it's gotten so complicated and then in my brain the story got all jumbled up and then I've basically been trying to sort it out this whole time. I am so confused about this section of the story it's like I'm in a hole and I'm really trying to claw my way out T-T

Also a good song suggestion for this one would be '21 Guns' by Green Day, I think since I just heard my brother playing it and was like 'hey that's kinda perfect for this-' so yeah but maybe not, I'm not really sure so tell me what you think if you give it a listen after reading this

WARNINGS: Again with the mentions of r*pe, it doesn't happen again, it's just...mentioned quite a bit, as it will be for a while so...going forward, just be sure to keep that warning in mind. Angst, of course, language, Jerome being an all around asshole...still. There's some blood, annnd, perhaps the most important warning this time: brief consideration of suicide. Now, for me, suicide is a very touchy subject so...it was very difficult for me to write it at all, which might be one of the contributing factors as to why it hasnt happened before in this story and why it was so short this time--okay, lets be honest, that's like...the only reason. But I know how it feels to be extremely sickened by the subject, as I consistently am when I read about it or hear about it because of some things that happened in my life, so if you're sensitive to that, I am very sorry, I'll place a warning before that part for you, it's not long. Some of the things I do for this story are purely for the purpose of making this as realistic as I can, and it's honestly very frustrating since those are the parts I don't want to write at all. Why do I do this to myself...

The knocking at the door had her pulling away from you. "I'm sorry, I'll be right back." She stood and went to the door while you tried to collect yourself.

You wiped your eyes quickly. You had to stop showing weakness, it was stupid to be so dependent on someone else. She thought you were crazy, and her believing you about what had happened to you ultimately only resulted in her pitying you.

You didn't need pity, it didn't do any good.

Nothing did...

You swallowed, putting as much of yourself as you could together as you took deep breaths.

"I am not going to start medication."

You looked up to see her frowning at whoever stood behind the door.