Over Again (Larry Stylinson AU)

Chapter 6

Chapter 6

                               Sitting in the chair, I kept shifting my weight. I knew I had to talk to him, and I knew I needed help, but this was still an uncomfotable experience. Being in a therapist's office was quite intimidating. The room was small and comfortable. It wasn't all white, and the furniture wasn't stiff. The couch was a soft pleather and felt a lot softer than other chairs in this building.

                                   He looked at me, putting on his hat and saying "So. Louis Tomlinson. Almost 18 years of age. Tell me some stuff about who you are as a person." I stared at him, blinking like a lost puppy. Who am I? I was just a boy...just like any other boy but I heard voices. Sighing, I tried to figure out the right way to start off.

                                    "Well. I'm just...y'know....fine. I like singing and acting and stuff. I really like stripes...I secretly want to be a zebra. Um. Let's see. Oh! I have a couple little sisters who I love a lot. They are all so sweet and Fizzy is really sassy, I think she got that from spending a lot of time with me. Besides that, I'm in love with Harry, he's a patient here. "

                                    When he looked up, the look of shock on his face was a bit intimidating. "Harry...as in Harry Styles?" He asked, setting down his glasses to stare right into my eyes. I nodded, confidently.

                                   "Yes. Him. I love him." It felt nice to say it out loud. Liam didn't look like he was judging me as well, so that made everything seem a lot easier.

                                 "You know he has...Multiple Personality Disorder, yes?" I rolled my eyes, tilting my head to the side. 'Of course I do." Liam nodded slowly.

                               "Stop doing that!" I said, crossing my arms and rubbing them a bit nervously. Liam looked at me for a minute before a huge smile burst on his face.

                                "It's okay to love someone crazy...... We're all a bit crazy on the inside." He looked at me, giving a sly smile before continueing to speak.

                                "You know Danielle? Her sister is here as well. Her name is Rose. She has beautiful hair.. It's a lovely shade of brown. So are her eyes. She...She was....She's here too. But she's in group C, the more severe ones like Harry. I love her...I know it's wrong to love a patient but I'm so in love with her."

                                 I looked at him, a bit shocked by what he wasy saying. Liam seemed smart enough, he obviously graduated school early. And if a smart, intelligent guy like him could fall for an insane person, then I could too.

                               "She's such a sweet girl. Danielle and her are almost opposites. Danielle is so strong, confident, and she's cheeky. But Rose....She's shy and nice but I've seen her defend her sister so many times. The only problem is...She suffers from Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, just like Danielle. When they...when they were both about 5 and 8, they were kidnapped and..."

                                  I could hear the sturggle in Liam's voice. This conversation wasn't going how I planned, but I definitely trusted Liam a lot more. "They...were made into sex slaves. They were raped and...abused....And Danielle was older so she was able to process and handle it better....But Rose...She....I can't touch her. I can't hug her or she starts screaming. I can't cuddle the girl I love. I don't know if I'll ever be able to kiss her...We definitely won't be able to have kids."

                                   "But I still love her. Even if I can never hold her, I'll always love her. And as soon as she gets moved out of this place when she's 18, I am going to ask her to be my girlfriend. For now, I have to stick with just complimenting her and always reminding her how beautiful she is. " Liam finished off his story, and I wiped the few tears that welled up in my eyes.

                                   I didn't even know this Rose girl, but I knew Danielle a little and she had seemed so...normal. How could someone so normal have gone through something so terrifyingly un-natural at such a young age? I didn't even know what sex was when I was that young.

                                  "Now. Tell me about your and Harry's relationship." Liam said after he cleared his throat. That smile returned to his face, causing one to return to mine. He was so friendly.

                               "Well....I've only known him for..what..2 days now? But he's my soul mate." Liam sat back in his seat, nodding.

                                  "I have seen tons of sides to him...but more importantly I've seen Harry. He's sweet, funny, and he's a bit cheeky and cuddly. He seems like a flirt but I know he's just friendly. And he seems so....so perfect for me. We both need someone to be there for us through everything we are going through."

                                     The way Liam gave just one small nod made me know he understood. It made sense. This wasn't just some crazy game, or some fling. This was true love. This only happens once in a lifetime if you are lucky enough. The fact that I am in a mental institute after a suicide attempt is so unfathomable, but meeting my one true love here is almost unbearably hard to imagine.

                                   "But the problem is....all the sides of him think differently of me. Me and 'Harry' Harry are best friends. But the Harold side of him....He seems so..broken. He doesn't talk to m yet but he doesn't seem to hate nor like me. Then there is the mean side of him...All he ever does is call me a fag and try to hurt me. But then there's the cute little side of him. All he ever does is talk about cute stupid little facts and blush."

                                     I told Liam everything I could about all sides, Liam taking notes. After that, he looked at his clock. "It's lunch time. Would you like me to take you outside for lunch?" I thought about it, nodding and smiling. "Sure, mate." He smiled, and was obviously pleased I called him mate.

                                     We both got our lunches and he led me out of the building, across the street to an empty field. "We aren't supposed to let patients outside of the gate, but sometimes I sneak people out here. Being locked inside that building can do things to a person's mind." He explained after we sat on the ground.

                                     The sun was out, but it was dimmed by all the grey clouds. The weather here in Doncaster had never been that bright, but I'd always enjoyed the rain. I remembered a picture of a girl in a raincoat on Harry's wall, and I reminded myself to ask him about that.

                                   "Now. Tell me about why you thought killing yourself would be beneficial." Liam said, that serious tone returning. I sighed, taking a bite of my food and swallowing before I began to speak. It was hard to formulate my thoughts into sentences in a way that would portray my feelings, but I hoped he would understand.

                                   "I...hear voices. All the time. They are in my head now, but they're quiet when I'm with you. Or anyone. Anyways, they've always told me to hurt myself. Rarely they told me to hurt others, but they are basically always telling me how...useless and...ugly I am. That specific day...They kept telling me how no one could love me. Not having someone love me was...is...my worst nightmare."

                                  "So...I took the glass to my wrist and ended it. Well, but I'm glad I came here. I really hope you can give me drugs or...Help me handle it better. Plus I met my Harry-beary here. So this place can't be that bad. Plus I'm going to help Niall and Zayn date and I met you and...this place seems perfect."