Querencia

25

The lively and bright girl she used to be seemed to have vanished, being swallowed into the pit of betrayal of trust she had built for a decade. It was too deep for her to just pretend that nothing had happened when the reality was too bittersweet.

Who would have thought that her crush who always treated her the best, taking care of her in every aspect was giving her fake signals? Above all, he was not even in the same boat as her in terms of feeling.

It was hard to declare but she has to - she must stop.

"I'm taking the drumstick", Eric's loud voice snapped Hana back into the real world, blinking out furiously upon seeing the dishes on the dining table where she and her family sat for dinner.

Only God knew for how long she had been in her thoughts.

Sighing deeply, she tried to mask her emotions from being seen by her family members. She never intended to let them know that she was not okay, that she was broken because the eldest kid of the family should have been strong all the time, not a crybaby.

But, she maybe could deceive his parent but not Eric.

Seeing his sister easily abandoning the drumstick he purposely took just to piss her off was already fishy, he knew Hana was hiding something from him, from everyone.

And when she pushed her chair backward, taking her plate to the sink as she announced that she had finished eating, Eric knew this was something serious.

"Why? Do you not have any appetite?" their father asked as she came back to the table after washing her plate.

"I'm still feeling sick", she nonchalantly shrugged. "I'll be in my room, I feel lightheaded."

"Sure, go take a rest. If it hasn't gone down by tomorrow, we will go to the clinic again, alright?" their mother then clarified, dismissing her daughter whom she thought had not recovered yet without knowing the real thing happened.

The girl gladly took her leave into her room - the only space she got to show the real her. Suddenly stepping in made her heart wrenched and threatened hot tears brimming in her eyes to spill.

There was a frame on the desk she used to study at a corner of the room, the frame that kept having different pictures inside it though the people in the pictures were the same. The latest picture she placed inside was taken during last year's winter, on the day the first snow fell.

The memory from it was vivid in her head.

Juyeon insisted for them to stay outside that day after reading somewhere that snow might be falling. He was so certain that it was legit news though Hana was hesitant knowing that Juyeon was gullible.

Nonetheless, she stayed.

Though she was not good at enduring such cold weather, she stayed for him. And she was glad she did. The smile that was plastered on his face that day when the rumor he read became true was priceless, his giddy jump when he said 'I told you!' was too pure to believe that he would break her today.

Without any hesitation, Hana shoved the frame inside the drawer, hoping that she could forget all the bitterness of her journey in loving him.

It was then her phone dinged, the screen lit up, alerting Hana that the device was on the floor, and almost went under her bed. She was not sure how it could be there, and she was too lazy to use her head for now.

Anyhow, she sat on the floor, unlocking her phone just to see many notifications of missed calls and messages appear. She had expected it since she left the campus so abruptly, not intending to inform even Freya about her leaving.

However, the notifications she received mostly were from Juyeon.

Though she wanted to rid him from her mind, she could not resist clicking on the text he sent. A part of her wished for Juyeon to amend everything that had happened between them and maybe give her a chance to have him for herself as per her wishlist.

Was it too much for her to ask?

Nonetheless, she should have known from the beginning that not everything she asked would be fulfilled.

-Juyoo-
I'm sorry Hana, I couldn't reciprocate your feelings but believe me, whatever happens after this between me and Heiji, nothing will change between us. You are still my best friend, and I will always be there for you. I promise you and please pick up your phone or meet me somewhere, and we will talk about it. Okay?

It broke her even more - the text. The more hopes she has for him, the more broken she has been, more free her tears fall.

She hated it when she cried, it hurt so much. It would be so hard to stop right now how she tossed her phone away and buried her face into her palms. The tears from her eyes not only wetting her cheeks but also her hands.

The aftermath of being broken was so great.

She could feel a movement from beside her but never cared to check, knowing it might be her nosy brother just wanting to mess up with her. Or the worst part was, to make fun of her for being rejected.

She was right, her brother was nosy. That was why he took the unlocked phone, reading the text from his favorite older friend who he had thought as his own and sighed.

He sighed which sounded too deep and hard to comprehend before he put the device back in its original place and glanced over his crying sister.

He had never seen her crying this bad and he never knew that tears were contagious. He felt his eyes getting teary as well.

Hana had prepared herself mentally and physically to hear her brother laughing at her but instead, she was pulled between his arms, her head resting against his chest as he rubbed circles on her back.

Eric let her cry without saying anything though Hana knew he was swallowing a few lumps in his throat, holding back his tears. She did not know that Eric had this side in him and it just made her overwhelmed.

For her brother was the only boy who wouldn't break her.