Querencia

30

Having one of those days was like a must that would go in a circle at the back of her head. Though she tried her best to not be affected, it seemed like nothing she could do. The sadness would come embracing her without warning though she was okay a minute before.

Ducked down on the ground as she fed Juha its food, she deeply sighed the moment she felt her view was getting blurry with the uninvited tears in her eyes.

The cat seemed to understand her feelings. Once in a while the female furry friend looked up as if she wanted to assure Hana that she got her back, and so the latter just had to cry it out. Not to mention how the cat sat down next to her feet, wanting her to stroke its fur.

But, unfortunately, her attention was not on the cat but on the pair of white sneakers that were hugging her feet.

Truth be told, it existed in two pairs - one pair was with her and the twin was with Juyeon.

Although she wanted to rid of all the memories she shared with him, she definitely could not rid of this one off - getting these shoes.

It all started with her eyeing these shoes in the mall and somehow admiring them all the time. She once told Juyeon that she had put it on her wish list and would buy it one day.

The boy knew how passionate the girl would be every time she had a wish list. And that was how, he took her out last semester - on the last day of the final exam to the store. He said that he wanted to reward them both with something after the hard time they went through.

And Hana could not be more happier when he said, he would get that shoes not only for her but for him as well.

Good old days.

Regardless, she needed to face the reality that had changed between her and him. She missed him - no doubt, she missed all the moments they did together. But now the boy was too far for her to reach.

She no longer walked to classes with him, having lunch together. What enraged her the most was the spot that used to be hers at the bleachers whilst waiting for him during his training had been replaced with someone else.

Long story short, Heiji had snatched everything that was hers away.

A loner tear fell right onto her left shoe as she replayed her memories like an old tape. The drop reflected the sunlight above her, the reflection slightly blinded her eyes before it did not anymore, like something or more so someone was towering over her.

That was when she noticed a pair of feet standing across her, the familiar matching sneakers appeared, and completed the view.

She knew who was it, but was not pleased to see him now. Specifically not in this state of her.

"You should've asked me to come with you", Juyeon ducked down, copying her and reached for Juha's stomach. "We always feed her together."

Scoffing and still having not looked at him, she spoke up, "I've heard from Freya that you came with Heiji once."

Her voice was slightly shaky. She was holding back her tears and Juyeon surely had noticed it.

"Hana, are you crying?" he pondered, looking for her eyes. "Why? Are you okay?"

The dumbest thing she had ever done was when she lifted her head, exposing her wet eyes. Deep down, she was mentally slapping herself, showing how crumbled she was in front of this boy was not a part of her plan.

Now Juyeon knew that the image he always saw was only a facade.

"Though I'm resenting you, I won't be wishing for something that will hurt you", she breathed out, jolting up and fixing her cream shirt which was tucked into her jeans. "But, I hope you can find out how hard it is to walk away from someone you've liked for 10 years."

She was about to walk away leaving him when he yanked her wrist.

"Wait", still holding her hand, Juyeon rose as well, towering over the slightly short girl. "You have the right to be mad at me, but please answer your phone when I call, and reply to my texts even only with emojis."

Hana blankly stared into his eyes which she always found beautiful. The eyes that seemed to hold every color of the universe. She saw how he was so hopeful with this request and she did not have the heart to reject.

"You've got yourself a deal", she shrugged, retreating her hand back from his grasp. This time she has made up her mind to leave for real as she turned on her heels. But then, she canceled the intention when she was reminded of something. "I want to make a deal as well with you."

She turned back facing him, crossing her arms against her chest.

"What is it?", Juyeon's eyes lit up, unknowingly he has taken a step closer to her. He did not know that his action made Hana's heart beat furiously and it was a great struggle not to look flustered.

"Don't make your girlfriend come to me", her brows scrunched, clearly hating to have another encounter with that certain girl. "Last time, I almost got her killed."

"Heiji met you?" he mentioning the girl's name between his lips somehow broke Hana the most. She low-key hoped that maybe he would say 'I don't have a girlfriend' or the simplest thing, maybe ask her 'Who's tried to hurt you?'

But he didn't. And did he just admit that Heiji was now his girlfriend?

"Why did she come to see you?" when Hana seemed lost in her silence, Juyeon broke it with confusion filling his head.

"How can I know?" her tone slightly inclined, expressing her anger. "Ask her yourself."

At that, she once again turned on her heels, for real walking away though she heard Juyeon was asking where she headed.

To her, the voice sounded so fainted that she felt unimportant to answer. Because what mattered right now was herself. How did she need to stop the tears that wetting her cheeks?

Every step she made towards the gate where Eric was waiting for her was wrenching. It felt as if she was facing a breakup though she was never in a relationship.

The boy was laughing out loud, showing a video from his phone to Freya and later on the girl laughed along.

When he spotted her sister coming towards them, he did not notice her wet eyes. He was just too excited to share the video with her as well, not breaking his gaze from the screen as he called her.

"Sis, come here faster. You need to see this video of baby Sunwoo fighting with a banana."

"Eric", Freya called, noticing how her best friend had not budged from her last standing point, nudging the younger who was immersed in the video. "She's crying."

It was then, that the cute video of Sunwoo eating a banana was no longer in the spotlight, the boy immediately scooted towards his sister, skimming her face.

Taking off his black cap which he wore backward, he placed it on Hana instead, making sure that it covered her eyes well.

He pulled her into his arms, stroking her back,

"Cry it out. You know you can only trust me."