The Ribbon Campaign

thirteen || of chases and butterflies

The house stays deadly quiet for a good fifty seconds before Ryan comes bolting down the stairs. As soon as we hear him running, my mother u freezes and catches his arm before he can run to the door. "Ryan...," she begins, but he cuts her off.

"Let me go, mom," he says in a desperate voice, tears building up in his eyes. "I have to- he can't go to-"

Ryan's voice cuts off mid-sentence by what I'm guessing is a lump in his throat. His whole stance goes from panicked to defeated, practically melting in my mother's arms and suddenly I not only realize why Ryan isn't running after Caiden but also what exactly Caiden meant by 'I can't do this anymore'.

My mother engulfs him in a hug, whispering soothing words into his ear as he shakes. I've never seen Ryan so torn up about something. Then again, I've never seen Ryan so devoted to one single person. I've never seen the look he gets in his eye every time he sends secret glances at Caiden or the smile he spurts every time Caiden jokes about something. There's no way he can lose that.

"Ryan," I say. "Go after him."

Ryan shakes his head. "I can't, he said he's going back to his dad. I've never been able to say no to him before, I-I can't start now."

"He's going to regret it," I insist. "Ryan, you and I both know going to therapy will only tear him apart. If you really love this boy, and I know you do, we need to go after him."

Ryan lifts his head off of my mother's chest, his hazel eyes boring in mine. Within a split second, his whole demeanour changes. He wipes any tears that had slipped out and rolls his shoulders, pulling away from my mother. He nods his head at me. "Okay. Okay, you're right. Let's go."

Ryan and I are downstairs and pulling on our shoes in record time. My mother and father yell at us to let them know what happens. I know that if it weren't for the fact that they can't leave Fiona alone at home, they'd happily come with us. But it's just Ryan and I running out the door, hearts beating against our chests.

We look right and left, but Caiden is nowhere to be seen on the streets. We go different directions, but when I reach a dead end and have found nothing I turn back only to find that it's the same for Ryan. "Where could he have gone?" I ask. "His parents' house?"

Ryan purses his lips. "Probably," he says.

"We can ask Luca! Text him."

"I don't have his number," Ryan exhales. He takes another deep breath before seemingly coming up with a split-second decision. "Wait here, I'm getting the car keys."

In seconds, we're in the car. We spend some time going around the neighbourhood as I text Caiden through mine and Ryan's phone while Ryan looks out the window to look for signs of him. After a whole half hour we find nothing and I get no reply. Ryan closes his eyes, counts to three and then begins to drive to the Harrison household.

All I can remember about the house as we pull up is how last time I came here was weeks ago, when Caiden had first came to stay with us. It tears at my heart how long ago that was and how besides the therapy thing, they haven't made any move to accept Caiden back. At this point, though, if I were Caiden I wouldn't come back if they begged me on their knees. I'm not Caiden, though- Caiden has tried his whole life to impress his father and he's much more passive and easily pressure than me.

I now realize just how hard this is for Caiden. He can't please one person he loves without hurting the other. Even though his father has kicked him out, it doesn't change the fact that he is his father- Caiden loves him. But Caiden loves Ryan too. Being with Ryan means hurting his father, not being with Ryan hurts Ryan. I just hope Caiden realizes that Ryan is the one who makes him happier.