The Ribbon Campaign

twenty three || of fears and ends

Bryce and I spend the next couple of weeks preparing the speech. The reason it takes us so long is not only because we always seem to get distracted, but that this speech needs to be perfect. It takes us three days to write the rough draft and the everything afterwards is just editing, revising and more perfecting. I've noticed that things have changed quite a bit since Bryce first helped me with my speech- he's no longer practically writing the speech for me. After everything that's happened, the passion I have for this campaign is finally able to come out in coherent words that make sense in a sentence. Bryce just sits back and offers suggestions for the rearranging of ideas or more specific things like words and sentence structure.

Throughout those two weeks, I've kept quiet, not wanting to voice anything about the conversation I had with Caiden back in the hospital, but it's constantly on my mind. I keep doubting Bryce, and I hate it, I really do. We haven't talked about what we are, making me only more and more concerned that I may just very well be a 'hook up'.

I desperately hope not. I hope not to the point where it makes my stomach clench. Slowly but surely, I'm seriously falling for Bryce. His crooked smiles, light- almost invisible freckles- and adoring personality. Everything I once found annoying I now yearn for. If this is really nothing to him, I don't know how I'd be able to handle it. It makes me sick just at the thought of losing Bryce. One touch from him makes me calm down if I'm thrust into a panic, like it did when I thought I was going to lose Ryan. His kisses take me to a whole other world and the support and help he's given me with this campaign is something I'll forever admire him for. I know the real Bryce, not the partying, drinking Bryce everyone else sees.

At least, I hope what I'm seeing is the real Bryce, not an act he's giving me just to crush me in the end.

These thoughts keep me up all night. I have to drink coffee by the time Bryce comes around in the morning even though I'm not much of a coffee person. Bryce raises an eyebrow when he comes into the kitchen, gesturing to the coffee mug with a nod of his head and asking, "You tired?"

"Yeah," I sigh, pushing away the caffeinated drink. "Didn't get much sleep last night."

Bryce frowns. He sits down next to me, leaning down to kiss me quickly. Butterflies explode in my stomach as soon as his lips touch mine. It's a chaste peck, but it still does so much to me. "How come?" he asks, his green eyes flickering between me and his backpack as he pulls out the speech.

I shrug, not wanting to answer him.

Bryce's eyebrows furrow, concern etched in his features. "Is something bothering you?"

"No, nothing," I say quickly, a little too quickly. Bryce looks at me, still worried, but thankfully drops it. Probably for my sake. If he cares enough to drop something because I don't want to talk about it, that must mean he cares. Right? It must mean I mean something to him. I groan. God, I'm seriously over thinking this. I need to calm down.

"Why'd you groan?" Bryce asks. When I don't answer, he looks at me, seemingly getting frustrated. "Ellie, what's going on?"

"Nothing, Bryce."

"Bullshit! What are you not telling me? You know if something's bothering you that you can come to me."

"I know, but not this."

Bryce furrows his eyebrows. "Why not? Holding it in isn't going to help anything. Is it something I did?" When I don't reply, he sighs. "Well, tell me what I fucked up on this time. It's not the first time."

"Bryce... Don't say that," I say, not liking how lowly he talks of himself.

"Then tell me what's bothering you! If it's something I did, you're not helping anything by not telling me!" He sighs exasperatedly. "God, I hate when girls do this."