The Ribbon Campaign

twenty four || of punches and the bad

I start to get really worried the next morning.

Bryce hasn't gotten back to me. Even when I started to call and leave voice messages, he doesn't reply. I start to get nervous. What if he's doing bad? I know that Bryce drinks when he's hurt, like he did the anniversary of his dad's leaving. I also know that Bryce was definitely hurt during our fight, I could see it in his eyes. I sincerely hope he didn't resort to drinking because of me. God, what if he gets in trouble? Or injured? I don't know if I'll be able to live with myself if something happens to him because of me.

I set out early in the morning, putting the responsibility of looking after Fiona on Ryan. The first place head to is Bryce's apartment. I need to apologize in person anyway, the message I sent him doesn't make up for what I did, not at all. I need to explain to Bryce just how much he means to me and just how much I regret doubting him after he's been nothing but perfect to him, but I need to do it in person where he can see in my eyes that I'm telling the truth and I can be sure he's actually forgiven me.

When I finally reach his apartment building, I ring up his apartment with hesitancy, praying that I don't wake up his family if they're still sleeping. Surprisingly, Trent Newton answers in his cute, youthful voice. "Hello?"

"Hey, it's Ellie," I say to the speaker. "Is Bryce home?"

"Nope!" Trent says. "He didn't come home last night. Said he was sleeping over at friends. Sorry Ellie!"

The nervous feeling in my stomach just gets worse at Trent's words. He didn't sleep over at my house, that's for sure, so probably any other friend he slept over at offered him a drink. I close my eyes, trying to calm my breathing and say, "That's okay Trent."

"Do you still wanna come up?"

"No, that's okay. I'll see you later."

I dejectedly walk back outside, running a hand down my face. I try calling Bryce once more while making my way to the park across his house, hoping to get an answer. Nothing. I silently make my way over to the swing set, the same one Bryce and I had sat in the day Caiden had run away. I still remember Bryce telling me about how much he wants a love that's real.

"I want something real," he had said. "I want something that gets me excited to see a person, that gives me a reason to wake up in the morning everyday and look forward to what life has to offer. I want passion- I want the butterflies to appear in my stomach every time I see her face and fireworks to explode behind my eyelids every time we kiss."

I find myself recalling our earlier fight, how he had told me he's never been able to just kiss a girl and still feel tingly or be content just being with her. I'm the only one. Suddenly, I feel dumb for ever doubting and ever thinking there could have been another girl. I realize now just how genuine of a person Bryce is, just how real and open and honest. But most of all, simple. He just wants love, and although he went through some bumps in road to find it, I accused him of not having it when he thought he finally did.

I feel awful. I need to find him.

x

Needless to say, I don't find him.

I look every place I think he may be. The purple dinosaur, the library (he goes there to write sometimes), some alleyways I've seen him by the school before, but I can't find him anywhere. If he's really with his old group of friends then I'm stuck. I don't know where they hung out before so I have no idea how to find him.

I get too hungry around lunchtime to keep looking, so I drag myself home. I call Bryce for the millionth time, but of course, he doesn't pick up. When I get home, I find Fiona gone and Caiden passed out on the couch with a blanket wrapped around him. Furrowing my eyebrows, I walk over to the kitchen to see Ryan making tea, probably for Caiden. He has that stuff even when it's hot as hell outside.