But I Still Want You {Taekook}

14. Taehyung

The apartment was quiet when Taehyung got home; Jimin was probably at Yoongi's, and it was a good thing, because Taehyung needed a little alone time to process what had just happened.

He'd gone to Jeongguk's place to ask for an explanation, maybe apologize again, and promise he would be out of his life if Jeongguk didn't want him in it, and instead, they'd had sex.

Mind-blowing sex, Taehyung would add, as coming down Jeongguk's throat had always been an unforgettable experience, even back then in high school, and still was to this date.

So, Taehyung had a plan. Which wasn't such a good thing, because he always had plans, and these plans went south more often than not, like, 1) trying to apologize to Jeongguk, or, 2) signing up for personal training sessions with Jeongguk, or, 3) noticing Jeongguk alone on the balcony and thinking it would be a great idea to go and try once again to talk with him. Or, 4) going to Jeongguk's place for an explanation, having it on good authority that he'd broken up with his boyfriend two days before - and boy, did his heart jump in his chest when Jimin told him that. Hope: such a stupid, masochistic concept.

So, yes, admittedly, while heading there, he was already thinking about the sex option. Jeongguk was keeping his cards close to his chest, nowadays, but when he'd kissed him on that balcony, there was no way to miss the thrumming desire between them - both of them.

He'd said as much - I want to fuck you. I want to bite you. I want to ruin you.

Jeongguk hated him, but he still wanted him, at least.

So the plan was as followed: Jeongguk and Taehyung would have sex, preferably awesome sex and as often as possible, then Jeongguk would slowly forget that he hated Taehyung, would eventually forgive him for a stupid youthful mistake, and would fall in love with him all over again, and all would end well.

But the road ahead was full of bumps and obstacles, and Taehyung knew he'd better brace himself for what was coming. He had thought, for a hot minute, that Jeongguk would be at least a bit mollified hearing him confess that he loved him; but the way he'd sullenly told him to go home after they'd done the deed proved otherwise.

Jeongguk was clinging to his hatred like a millionaire to his money, and Taehyung was only now beginning to comprehend how profoundly he'd hurt him, back then. His only solution was to show him that he could trust him now, and sex was as good a way to do it as any. Sex created intimacy - intimacy might lead to forgiveness. Forgiveness was an open door to love.

The thing was now to convince Jeongguk to have sex again, and given how closed off he'd been just after their hook-up, it might prove harder than expected. It didn't matter, though. Taehyung would try, and try again, and if it didn't work, well, he'd keep trying all the same. To make it up for the one time he didn't.

Suddenly, the door opened and light flooded the living room.

"Taehyung?" Jimin asked, looking surprised. "Why are you sitting in the dark? Weren't you supposed to see Jeongguk? It went that bad, huh?"

Obviously, he had talked to Jimin at length, over the course of the past two days, to ask what he was supposed to do. He didn't really have qualms about it, not since Hoseok, upon seeing Jeongguk leave hurriedly after their kiss while he was drinking a glass of water in the kitchen, had gone back to the living room and announced proudly to Seokjin, and consequently, the whole room: "I just saw Jeonggukie kiss Taehyungie!" which, evidently, had caused mayhem. At least amongst their friends.

So Taehyung didn't really have anything to hide anymore, and it was Jimin who had advised him to go and ask for an explanation, because, Taehyung, if he really hated you, he wouldn't have kissed you.

Taehyung wasn't thoroughly convinced about that, but it still was what he wanted to hear, and so he didn't question Jimin's advice and went.

"No," he sighed, "it was okay. I mean, I don't know."

Jimin sat next to him on the couch, looking nonplussed. "What happened?"

"We, um, had sex? Kinda. Yeah."

Instead of the shrieking Taehyung was expecting to hear, there was silence. Jimin was staring at him, eyes wide as saucers.

"You had sex", he repeated, tone flat.

"Well, y-yeah..."

"With Jeongguk."

"No, with his roommate. Yes, with Jeongguk. Who else?"

"Jeongguk who was supposed to hate you?"

"That's the thing," Taehyung replied, scratching his head gloomily. "He still does. It doesn't mean anything. It's just sex."

Jimin was now eyeing him carefully. "I don't think it's ever 'just sex' in a situation like this," he replied slowly. "What's the plan?"

"The plan is, obviously, to keep on having sex with him until he falls back in love with me."

"That doesn't look like a sound plan to me."

Taehyung stood up, agitated, and started pacing. "I never said it was a sound plan. But do you have another one? Because I'm running out of ideas, and this is the only one that sort of worked so far."

"I know, Taehyung", Jimin sighed, "but if you really love him, don't you think you're going to get hurt in the process? You can't be fuckbuddies with the guy you love."

"It's better than to be hated by the guy I love," Taehyung replied firmly. "I'd rather have that than nothing at all."

Jimin sighed again, but said nothing.