19. Jeongguk

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That was how Jeongguk found himself in front of Taehyung's door, the next day, sick with terror, deathly pale, wondering what the hell he was doing here.

Jimin could be persuasive. Jeongguk had thought about it all night - and, consequently, didn't get a wink of sleep - alternating between going there and being brave for the first time in his life, saying his piece even if he ended up hurt in the process. Or taking the cowardly option and spending the day in bed, not thinking about Taehyung, and preferably never thinking about him again.

But it was impossible to never think about him again, not only because yes, Jeongguk did fucking love him, but also because they'd had sex in that bed enough times that Jeongguk couldn't think about anything else when he lay on it now.

If I go there and it goes wrong, am I going to regret it? he thought, only to hear a voice in his head replying: maybe, but if you don't go there, won't you regret it even more?

Never going there. Never seeing Taehyung again. Never finding out if he was afraid for nothing. Maybe there was nothing to be afraid of.

And then Jimin had texted him. I'm at Yoongi's all day, in case you wonder. Go and make him stop crying. Building's door code is 201306.

And really, it was the thought of Taehyung spending another day alone and crying that got him standing up and heading towards his apartment.

Trust, he thought. The last step.

Except that now, standing in front of Taehyung's closed door, he wasn't so confident anymore. He was completely terrified.

This was a mistake.

But when he turned to leave, the door opened and Taehyung himself appeared, eyes puffy and red, greasy hair, looking simultaneously terrible and as beautiful as ever, an old wool cardigan thrown on his shoulders, what looked suspiciously like a pajama shirt underneath it, and a grass green sweatpants with holes in it. His fashion quota was taking a hard hit, and yet, Jeongguk couldn't help but find him gorgeous.

When he looked up from the floor and noticed Jeongguk in front of him, he yelped, and Jeongguk jumped out of his skin. Without thinking, acting on purely automatic impulse, he bolted towards the elevator.

"Wait!!" Taehyung shouted, following after him.

Jeongguk hammered on the call button, but of course, the elevator had left the floor already, and the metallic doors stayed closed long enough for Taehyung to catch up with him.

He felt Taehyung grab him by the sleeve of his hoodie and turned slowly to face him.

God, but he was beautiful, even when he was looking miserable. Right now, he was staring at Jeongguk with wide eyes, hand clasping his sleeve, a voiceless question on his bewildered face.

The silence went on for a bit, until Taehyung stammered: "W... What are you doing here?"

Jeongguk sighed. It was too late to back up now. "Where were you going?"

"The... The convenience store," Taehyung mumbled, "I've run out of food..."

"I'll get you something?" Jeongguk offered. "Stay here, I'll come back with something to eat."

"No!" Taehyung exclaimed, looking scared. "You're never coming back."

"I am coming back," Jeongguk assured.

"No," Taehyung insisted. "I don't want you to leave. Not before you tell me why you're here."

Jeongguk stared at him. He really looked worse for wear, and for the first time, it occurred to Jeongguk that maybe he wasn't the one who suffered the most from their break-up. Maybe it had taken its toll on Taehyung, too.

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