A Victim's Diary

4

I still find it really hard to believe that I got that job. I genuinely thought I might have had to move back in with my parents if I hadn't found a job in time and that would have been the worst. I don't think I could have actually handled that. Plus, I'm still more or less fresh out of university which means I'm lucky to have gotten that job. I never thought I would get it, to be honest, but here I am, worrying about my first day.

I genuinely don't know what to wear and how it's all going to work. I've got all my smartest business outfits laid out in front of me, but I can't seem to decide which one I'll go for. None of them seem to be good enough somehow. But maybe if I journal it out in this notebook, I'll figure out which one would be best. That's what my therapist told me. Not that therapy was very helpful, really. I think it could have been helpful if it didn't have a limit on the sessions I could get with my insurance. But I couldn't afford paying for more on my own and my mind was too slow to heal within just ten sessions.

I wondered whether I might be able to get more therapy again with the new job. Surely they'd have an employee assistance program or something like that. They were a quite prestigious little law firm after all. They weren't big, no, but they were good and they worked in exactly the field I had studied for. Not that I had enjoyed studying law much, but it was a job that paid the bills and that would pay off the student loans as well.

I think if I could have chosen anything to study that I wanted... I think I would have gone a very different direction. Maybe I would have gone for an Arts degree, Humanities, Social Sciences, something like that. It would probably have been something that would have interested me more and something that would have been much less of a pain, but it definitely wouldn't have made me any money.

Anyway, no point complaining, right? I got the job and tomorrow is my first day and I'm really excited for it. I know that company is going to expect me to put in long hours and everything, but that's okay. I'll manage it somehow. I know that I will, because I've worked hard to get here and I'll work even harder to climb the ladder in that place! I'm so excited about my first day! And nervous, of course. I still don't know what to wear.

I suppose with the way the weather is supposed to be, I better go with the turtleneck pullover and either a skirt and very thick stockings or pants... Maybe a skirt would be better. It'll look more conservative, and I'd rather be a little overdressed than underdressed. Hopefully that'll be okay. I can already see Cora rolling her eyes at me being this worried. She never worries about anything, but she can also afford it.

Cora has always has such an easy-going approach to life. Maybe that's why she's my best friend. When I'm around her, everything just seems so easy. It's almost as if she can make anything work for her, no matter what it is. She's pretty much all I ever wanted to be, but that ship has sailed. She has a lot of money, because her parents are quite wealthy, which means she can actually afford to work as a curator for a museum, because the pay doesn't mean anything to her. She doesn't really need it either way.

She has a great job, a great apartment, a boyfriend that is successfully working somewhere in finance and she has lots of money. Of course that is one of the reasons she is so nonchalant about everything, but it is also just her general character. I love hanging out with Cora. We usually would go for brunch while I didn't have a job (which was expensive, but worth it, because I got so drunk I didn't need to eat the rest of the day because I was passed out, which also did wonders for my figure).

I already know I'm going to miss brunch with her, but at least we can have dinner sometimes, or cocktails or we can go for lunch together. I should probably ask her what her lunch hours are, so we can meet up and get something. I think there is a new bakery that opened near the place I work, so maybe we can try that one. I should ask Cora about it. She'd know if the place is any good. Sometimes I think she goes to every single place in this part of town, just so she can tell people which places are good. So far, I don't think there has ever been a place that she hadn't been to and didn't have an opinion on.