𝐼 𝐶𝑎𝑛𝑡 𝐿𝑜𝑣𝑒 𝑌𝑜𝑢 𝐴𝑛𝑦𝑚𝑜𝑟𝑒

chapter nineteen

"I was just...checking in, I know you've been busy with work and all but I just wanted you to know I love you and miss you. If you could come home for the weekend that would be amazing" he spoke and I couldn't hear him correctly, not like this. Not with me here completely turned on, in Alejandro's lap. He was staring at me with hunger in his eyes and I knew this conversation needed to end.

"I will dad..I love you so much" I say and he seems satisfied, saying he will see me this weekend.

Throwing my phone I bring my lips back into his, kissing him hungrily, trailing my fingers up his shirt. He groans softly, his lips moving down my neck and on my collarbone.

"You don't deserve this Anna and you know it" he spoke and I nodded, because I don't. I was playing with fire and he knew it.

His hands find their way around my jeans, tugging then down. When he notices how wet I am he groans, taking me in completely. His fingers find their way inside my underwear, feeling the wetness that soaked beneath me.

"If only..." He whispered, pulling his fingers away. He loved torturing me, loved seeing me on edge. And I hated it..all of it.

"Please..." I could feel myself whimper, missing that feeling of contact I desperately needed from him.

"Sorry.....they need me at the shop" he says and I feel myself getting frustrated, irritated with him.

"You're serious?" I spoke, the heat and passion slowly dying down.

"Yes..I'm sorry baby" he kisses my forehead, wrapping me in a hug.

I had never felt more angry than I do now, especially in this moment. He hated when I pushed him and yet did it to me every chance he got because...what? He thought it was funny?

Climbing off him, I pull my shirt back on and climb in the back, wanting to be as far away from him as possible.

"Baby come on your not seriously upset about this are you?".

I cross my arms as I close my eyes, taking deep breaths.

He drops me off at home and leaves and I'm in my bedroom, thinking. I loved Alejandro with everything In my heart. I loved him with a sweet and beautiful passionate feeling I never knew I had. He has this dangerous flare in his eyes that I had seen more and more and I hadn't known if I loved it or didn't.

I crawl into the bed, feeling a tiredness overwhelm me as I take a deep breath, letting the blanket surround me. 

The next morning I had woken up with this pit in my stomach, it felt heavy and had taken an odd toll on me as I sat up, immediately wanting to lay back down. He hadn't come home last night and I didn't know what to expect. I didn't want him to get mad, but I was so worried and frustrated with him because he's changing, things are changing between us. I could feel it and I didn't know what to do anymore. So I chose to ignore it, chose to let him know I didn't care. Then maybe would things change between us.

After taking a shower It was only then when I got out did I realize I was late to work. So I hurried up as much as possible and called a Lyft and was on my way. I arrived a bit later than I thought but when I did I knew it was going to be a good day, at least I had wanted it to be. Stepping inside the shop, I realize it's empty, Austin not behind the counter where he usually is to greet me.

"Austin?" I called out, heading behind the counter.

I hear the back door open and in comes Austin, his head down as he steps inside.

"Hey..you okay?" I asked him and he simply nodded, walking past me. I get a hold of his shoulder and he looks up, finally meeting my eyes. I notice he's got a huge dark black circle around his eye, swollen almost shut. My heart felt like it dropped for a second before I blinked, taking it in.

"What...how?" I asked, reaching up and touching it gently, causing him to blink back in pain.

"...listen Anna..it's great you are working here okay? But..maybe it's not a good idea" he spoke gently, and I couldn't quite hear him, mainly because my heart was beating so rapidly in my ears.

I had gotten my first job almost three months ago and I was already getting fired from it... something was wrong.

"Was it him?" I felt myself angry, furious. He had become more of this...monster and I wasn't even sure I was safe with him.

He doesn't answer but by the look in his eyes it says it all.

"I'm sorry...I'm so sorry. He...he was different when I met him, sweet and caring and he never did anything so horrendous and disgusting like this" I didn't know what else to say. He wasn't the same man I knew, the same guy from high school those years ago. I had known people grew up but this was...a different change I didn't like, a dangerous one.

"Anna i-"

"No this...has gotten out of hand. I should have noticed it at first but...I didn't.." I couldn't finish my sentence, my eyes fill with tears as I realize something.... someone wrong. Alejandro has..changed completely. I didn't know what to do especially when it comes to him hurting the people I work with.

"I have to go...I'm sorry. I..." I stand and head for the door but am pulled back by Austin.

"No..Anna..it's not safe to be alone with him. Okay? Look at me" he gestures and I close my eyes, millions of questions running through my brain.

Would he hurt me? Is he going to? Would he ever hit me? Why would he hurt Austin? Is he really that jealous? Did I do something? Does he still love me? What is going on?

"I'll...take my chances".