𝐼 𝐶𝑎𝑛𝑡 𝐿𝑜𝑣𝑒 𝑌𝑜𝑢 𝐴𝑛𝑦𝑚𝑜𝑟𝑒

chapter twenty-eight

                        Alejandro's pov

"I love...your daughter. So damn much. I've made so many..mistakes that I don't want her to see them or you, I want you to see me for someone whose..lucky to even have your daughter. I want this to work between us and there's a lot of issues I need to work with but..I can. With her help, I don't want you to hate me, more than you probably already do. But when I met Anna I was...a horrible asshole. I drunk to hide the pain that went on in my life and I know your daughter doesn't deserve anything that he goes through but Im telling you now I..can't lose her. I need help yes but I cant lose her."

The words fall out faster than they were meant to as mr.carsow stares into my eyes, glaring daggers.

He sat back as he absorbed every word I said and I hoped he had taken what I said into consideration. I meant everything and losing her would be the end of me.

"You fucked up. I liked you, seriously. I was rooting for you. But...I don't know."

I nod.

"I understand. I'm trying..it's hard and difficult and I dont want to take that frustration on anyone or anything I'm trying to get my anger in check....it's difficult.."

He sighs frustrated, rubbing his eyes. I had balls coming over here don't I know it.

"..shit..I don't like this but...I believe in second chances. I do. And I believe with the right help for both of you I believe you can get the chance you deserve."

I nod gratefully, taking a deep breath.

"Thank you".

"But this doesn't mean anything unless you don't tell her".

And on comes the hard part.

"Anna...I..I'm just going to speak and I'm sorry if this doesn't make sense I'm a little nervous and scared right now because...of how you'll react and what you'll say. it's..alot. fuck I don't even know if I have the guts to say it all..but I'll try. Anna when I met you I was a different person, an asshole. An alcoholic. An aggressive..person who had alot of tough shit going on and didn't take the anger out on anyone but other people. But..you came into my life and shined a light on everything that ever happened and I found myself drawn to you constantly. I wanted to be around you because the second I talked to you I knew you were the one for me, in many ways than one. The reason I hide away from you is because you are literally perfect Anna. And I'm so screwed up that I feel like I'll screw you up as well and I don't want to. I have never fallen in love with anyone so hard like you and...I want to make this work. Okay? I do. You are my everything and I can't lose you..I want to try and keep trying because if I lose you I will lose myself".

The words slip out of my mouth and I gasp, letting out a long breath I didn't know I was holding. I was tired of holding back the truth and not telling her everything. She deserved to know and I didn't know why I held back telling her, I was a coward for that and I wouldn't let myself forget it.

She stands there in shock, tears in her eyes. Her lips part as she speaks but no words come out and  I knew she wouldn't be able to say anything at first because it's alot.

I dig into my pocket and pull out a tiny velvet box..

Might as well go out now.

"I bought this the night of our anniversary, because..I knew I would wana marry you and spend the rest of my life with you. I know it's no excuse on the things I did..but I apologize and want you to know I'm willing to change and become better, for us both.".

She sucks in a breath as her eyes go small, crying harder. She begins to shake as she cries and I pull her into my arms, completely melting into my embrace. She falls into my arms and I hug her tightly, wrapping my arms around her body. She didn't say anything and I didn't either, I held her for as long as she needed me too. Closing my eyes I let her embrace comfort me because soon I begin to cry too, letting every single thing out.