𝐼 𝐶𝑎𝑛𝑡 𝐿𝑜𝑣𝑒 𝑌𝑜𝑢 𝐴𝑛𝑦𝑚𝑜𝑟𝑒

chapter twenty-four

I knew emotionally and physically I wasn't ready for a club, especially with dozens of other attractive men and alcohol I knew i would do something stupid...but I also felt like I needed to let go, be free, finally let myself indulge in stupid choices.

My dad was gone at work tonight and had let me know he made some pasta before left for work for dinner. But I wasn't hungry so instead I had gotten dressed. I didn't wear any makeup, I didn't feel like I needed it. Just some dark red lipstick. I tie my hair into a tight bun and wear tight black jeans and a silky black tank top. I did look hot as I looked in the mirror but deep down I knew I would never forget Alejandro's words as he would stare at me, reminding me how beautiful I was. His words had left a dent in my heart I felt like nobody could fix. I wasn't going out to forget Alejandro, I was going out to forget everything, even my own name. I wasn't much of a drinker..but I would become one if that's what it took.

I stand next to Austin outside the club we were trying to get into and wait patiently before they let us in. Apparently Austins dad knew everyone and Austin had "friends within friends" type thing and we could go anywhere we wanted and he chose a club. Austin was wearing just jeans and a t-shirt and he did look different than I expected, his arms fuller and more muscle had appeared apparently. An apron hid his alot apparently.

By the time we reach the door Austin smiled at the guard and he recognized him apparently and nodded, letting us through. Austin guides me inside and the music is the first thing I hear, a booming rap music blasts through speakers as we pass through tons of bodies and make our way towards the bar. Even as I step inside I could feel eyes on me and I scan around, to find nobody looking our way. The club was packed, bodies dancing, taking shots, sitting down in specials sections, bartenders keeping themselves occupied. The music was so loud it almost made me completely deaf, the sound almost too much to handle.

"Well? What do you think?" Austin yells to me and I take a look around, the lights blaring down at me.

"I think it's fine" I yell back and he leads me towards the bar, towards the bartender. She's a bit older I could tell but she could definitely pass as young, slim and small body and yet she seemed much older in the face. Her eyes are warm as she meets mine and I smile at her, gaining a smile right back from her.

"Pick your poison" she yells and I scan the counter, hoping for the strongest thing she had.

"Something forgetful" I speak and she nods, grabbing a tequila bottle and something else I didn't know. I watch as she pours both liquids into a shaker, pouring ice and some salt and places a cap on and shakes it side to side and I watch, completely mesmerized.

She grabs a glass cup and pours the liquid into the glass, the color a deep red shade and my stomach churns and as she hands it to me I take a second to think if this is what I really want...and chug it down completely. It burns badly as I do, causing me to cough roughly, taking a second to breath.

"Want another?" She asks as she studies me to see if I'm okay and as soon as it's down I feel the salt bubble against my tongue as I nod, watching her pour the remains of the drink into the same cup and I chug it down, the burn less badly than the first time.

"Good?" She watches me and I slam the cup down, nodding.

"You sure this is good?" I ask her, clearing my throat.

She nods.

"Come back in ten minutes...then we'll see".

Austin stares, completely dumbfounded I suppose. I nod my head towards the dance floor and he nods, following me as I find my way in the middle of every single person in the room. The alcohol didn't take long to completely take over, my eyes starting to feel sensitive towards the lights above me. The dance floor seemed to carry me completely, my arms swaying side to side, soon my head rolls back and I close my eyes, letting the music overcome my body completely. My legs begin to move and so do I, not having a single care anymore. I move every part of my body, my chest, my hips, my knees, every single part and soon I'm so lost in the music I didn't care who was watching. Austin was dancing as well, trying to match my movements and it was an adorable attempt but nobody could match the way I moved, not even him. Drunk or not...

"You okay?" He spoke and his voice sounds muffled, slow, disoriented. My legs feel weak, like jello but I manage to stand no matter how badly I wanted to give in. My head soon begins to spin, the room suddenly feeling too small for my liking.

"Perfect"...I spoke and suddenly his hands are on my shoulder as he stares into my eyes, making sure I'm okay. His hands feel like a burst of fire on my body and I step back, wanting that feeling gone completely.

"What-"

"Don't...touch. you're hands feel like fire" I tell him and it's more of a slur than words and he tilts his head in confusion.

"Should we get you home?".

I shake my head as I look around, wanting to dance much longer. I close my eyes and let the music overcome me, swaying and moving in a slow pace.

"Hey" Austin spoke and I open my eyes.

"I need to use the restroom, are you gonna be okay?".

I nod and shoo him off, closing my eyes once again. The music suddenly changes into a slow paced song and I close my eyes once again, feeling the song vibrate through my body. It's within a few seconds I could feel eyes on me so I open my eyes and look around to find someone in the corner, watching my every move. Their eyes are dark and I could feel as if I know them but my mind is so blurry and fuzzy I shrug it off and continue to dance my head off. Letting my mind wander I feel a sudden shift behind me and I turn around to find that stranger suddenly behind me, eyes blazing in heat. They were wearing a fake hood that covered their whole entire head but even with the eyes I could tell exactly who it was, fuzzy mind and all.

Alejandro.