My Other Half

Part 18

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Anime4us

Chapter 18:

When you had first talked yourself into writing these letters to Kazutora, you hadn't accounted for them to have a negative element on anyone. In all reality, you were just running through the memories of he and Kei laughing in his room. The times the three of you had eaten dinner together after he'd found out about you. The hours you spent in each other's company was almost like having another brother... but then he and Kei got up to no good. And bad went to worse. You weren't in the complete know, but hearing things here and there had let you put the pieces together. Kazutora wasn't stable, that was something you learnt... But neither were you after you lost Kei. Hell, you were only stable on a good day... Even considering all of that, you most certainly had not expected to cause Chifuyu to have a panic attack.

It was terrifying in a different sense than watching him motionless in a hospital bed. It sounded like the oxygen he was desperately trying to bring in was catching on his throat. Although anger seeped into the words when he could form them, tears also dripped down his cheeks. Now, you'd seen Chifuyu cry before, hell, you'd cried together. It wasn't always happy, but it was cathartic; to have someone you were comfortable not being a hundred percent with all the time. This, however, was the complete opposite. Chifuyu wasn't venting, he was struggling to keep himself conscious, and the thought freaked you out. You placed a worried hand on his forearm, trying not to feel hurt as he pulled away from you. You'd never experienced an attack before, but you understood them to a certain degree. You'd heard that some people really didn't like to be coddled, that in fact, it could be very dangerous.

"Chifuyu?... Ok. Listen to me."

You tried to coax him gently, keeping your voice level, yet authoritative as his hyperventilation filled the room. Both Pey and Yang had long disappeared, not pleased with the noise that was coming from their owner. Had Chifuyu not started having an attack on the spot... you'd be gone too. Had he ever gone through these alone? Was it this scary every time?

"Breathe in." You stated, taking a deep breath yourself to attempt to show him how it was done. "Breathe out."

Your fingers twitched uselessly at your sides. Chifuyu wasn't listening. Or rather, maybe it was that he couldn't hear you. Maybe you weren't helping at all. Maybe you were being super fucking useless.

"Listen to me."

The words came out less certain, panic beginning to lick at you, making you clench your shaky fingers by your sides. You needed to break through to him, to get him to come back to reality. He needed to start breathing again or he was going to end up in the fucking hospital. Again. In a last ditch effort, you reached out with both your hands, throwing caution to the wind as you gripped at his cheeks, forcing blown, turquoise eyes to look directly at you.

"Chifuyu Matsuno, breathe you goddamn moron!"

You didn't yell, but you might as well have. He stuttered something, though you weren't really able to decipher it. It was probably another attempt to breathe. Feeling desperate, you reached down, taking one of his hands in your own and put it above your heart, giving him a physical example to follow. You took a deep breath, holding it momentarily before breathing out. You repeated the action a few times, and eventually, Chifuyu was able to follow your lead. You both stood there in silence, forcing out exaggerated breaths for a couple more minutes. You let out a shaky one as Chifuyu pushed his forehead into your shoulder. He replicated that one too.