Toast of the Season

❀ Chapter 36 ❀

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"Lady Snow, would you like another cup of tea?" I smile at her as I make the offer. She has been so kind to welcome me into her home and has treated me like a dear friend. She asked me of my engagement once on the day of my arrival. But I explained to her that it was not meant to be and thankfully she never pressed me for more.

Lady Snow places her romance novel on the side table and takes my hand in hers and pats it. "No, no child. Thank you though. I think I will take a little rest before supper." She continues talking as I help her recline on the chaise and cover her with a blanket. "You are so sweetly attentive to me dear. I do not know what I ever did without you." She looks up at me, "You should rest as well, you are looking a little pale." I nod and smile at her. I know I have lost weight over these last weeks and my sleep has been fitful at best.

"I will wake you in time to ready for supper," I assure her. I quietly close the door behind me and my mind goes instantly to Edmund. I immediately feel overwhelmed by sadness and regret. I try to stay cheerful for Lady Snow but when I am alone I rarely smile anymore. I dearly hope that I can forget one day, that the pain will be dulled by time.

I make my way to my favorite room in the house, the library. It is likely only a tenth of the size of Edmund's library and I find myself sighing as I remember all those books that I never was able to look at. I run my fingers along the book spines, looking for something to distract me from my self-pity. I need the opposite of a romance and unfortunately most of the books in this library are love stories.

The butler pokes his head into the library. He knows where to find me when I am not with her ladyship. "Miss Cavendish." He seems hesitant to continue, I can tell he is uncomfortable about something.

"Riley, please don't tell me it is another letter." He is the only one here who knows of Edmund's letters. Not the content in them, but that I have received them. Riley has discretely handed each letter to me, keeping them away from the notice of Lady Snow and the prying eyes of the servants.

He still looks concerned, "No, Miss. There is, well... a gentleman caller in the parlor for you."

I narrow my eyes, "But I do not know anyone here."

"I do not think he is from this area, Miss."

"And you are sure he isn't here to see Lady Snow?"

"He is most certainly here for you."

Riley holds the door for me and I walk down the hall towards the parlor. My palms become sweaty and I find I cannot take a full breath because I suspect who has come and he knows very well he cannot visit me here. I feel annoyance bordering on anger burning in my chest at the audacity of him to come here, disrupting my serene new life.

I enter the salon and unfortunately I was correct. Edmund is leaning on the mantel in front of the fire and he turns to me as I enter. "Lizzy." My name comes out desperate, as if he is so relieved to see me.

He looks as handsome as always, but tired. There is dark stubble on his face which I have never seen on him and a gauntness to his cheeks as if he has been ill. His beautiful blue eyes look slightly dulled like he is weary with life. I find my anger dissipating somewhat in my concern for his health.

He takes two strides towards me and grabs my hands in his. "Why are you here Edmund?" His eyes rake me over from head to toe as his thumbs press distracting circles on the backs of my hands. "You cannot be here, Edmund. You do remember your promise to Bea, do you not?" I am extremely surprised at my composure. I am not in tears or yelling.

Riley has very inappropriately closed the parlor doors behind me. But I think it was necessary so that the rest of the household does not know my business.