Stairways | A Surviving Summer FanFiction

Part 36 - Nightmares

It's about two in the morning when you awake suddenly, sure that you can hear something. You attempt to accustom your eyes to the darkness, as muffled sobs filling your ears. You rapidly sit up, trying to get your bearings in unfamiliar surroundings. Then you remember where you are, and who you're with.

"Ari?" you say softly, a little more panicked than you mean to, as you jump up, and Ari jolts up, obviously surprised to hear your voice.

"Sorry, I was...asleep."

"Bad dream?" you whisper, still unable to see his face in the darkness - it's impossible to tell whether he'd actually been crying.

"I suppose so." his voice answers.

"Is this my fault?! 'Cos I mentioned Stairway?" you ask, but Ari cuts you off.

"No...no, it's been happening a lot recently." he says. "I suppose...because it's getting closer, y'know?"

"What is?" you say, annoyed at how you sound like you're prying for information when all Ari probably wants to do is sleep.

"The swells are gonna be high at Stairway, like, y'know, last year?" he replies, and suddenly you realise what he's talking about.

"When, it happened..." you trail off, unsure what to say next, but then Ari speaks up.

"It's like... the anniversary? But it feels weird to call it that."

"Yeah. It feels weird that it's been a year, huh?" you reply, and Ari is quiet for a moment.

"I just feel like I'm never gonna get over this. It's going to be happening for the rest of my life. Always in the back of my mind, playing over and over."

You sit in silence for a second, unsure what words of comfort you could bring to this broken boy, when suddenly you get an idea.

"You wanna go somewhere?"

_________________________

It's a cold night, cold enough for frost to begin appearing on the end of leaves and for the wind to be biting at your bare skin - you're still wearing shorts from the day before, not being able to fetch any clothes from your house that evening. You have one of Ari's hands clasped in yours as you drag him through the trees, the sound of crashing waves growing closer by the second. It doesn't seem like Summer at that moment, but something reminds you that it is: the minute you reach Stairway, the waves are more powerful than you've ever seen, each one pounding relentlessly on the jagged rocks below. This only happens once a year: in Summer.

"They say exposure therapy is the best!" you scream above the wind, pushing hair out your face in a futile effort as the wind whips around your face harshly.

"Yeah well, this definitely ticks the exposure box," Ari replies unsmiling as you're sprayed with sea water after another big set comes in, "not sure about therapy though."

"Just trust me!" you reply, grabbing his hand again and pulling him closer to the edge. He falters unsurprisingly, only taking a minuscule step towards you before running a hand frustratedly through his hair.

"Nah, that's close enough for me, Y/n." he says.

"C'mon, Ari! If you do this I promise to never tell your parents about your anxiety. Unless it gets really bad. In which case I hope you'd tell them anyway..." you say, your words left hanging at the end of the sentence until you see a begrudging nod from Ari of agreement. "Good. Because I don't want your parents blaming me or Summer if something happens."

"Nothing's going to happen. Besides it's not up to you." he takes a step forward. "I wish you and Summer would stop making this a big deal - I hate having this hanging over us all the time!"

"If you told them then we wouldn't have to threaten you, would we?" you say, taking a step back.

"Threaten me? Please, Y/n if I felt threatened by what you and Summer were saying I would have done something by now."

"So you think we're making empty threats?" you reply with a smile; it's slightly amusing how worked-up Ari is getting from this.

"I know you are." he snaps back.

"So you won't mind if I go tell your parents right now? About how I had to calm you down at the surf club because you couldn't breathe? How Summer had to do the same thing in the carpark? How you went missing at Subtropix because you got freaked out before your heat?"

"Y'know, you've been saying that for a while now - I'm starting to think you don't want to."

"Of course I don't want to. I want you to do it. And I don't want to risk...this," you motion between you and him, "just because you're too afraid to tell your parents yourself."

He sighs defeatedly, not realising that you've accidentally got him right to the edge of the rocks during your argument. "Okay, you're right. First thing tomorrow, I'll tell them. If you come too."

"Of course." you reply. "Oh, and by the way, I think the exposure therapy worked." you smile, moving out the way so Ari can see how close he is to the edge: where he jumped and Marlon didn't. "Stairway's what's been hanging over us all this time. Mostly because of guilt for me and the girls and Marlon, anxiety for you and for Summer...well, I guess her lack of knowledge about Stairway is the problem."

"Well maybe we can finally start to get past all this. And we can start by telling my parents about my anxiety." he says, voice wavering slightly, but with a sense of determination.

You smile guiltily - Ari's being so honest tonight, letting you see him vulnerable and you repay him how? By keeping more secrets. You open your mouth to speak, but no words come out.

"Ari, I need to tell you something. About Marlon, and me."

"What?"

"...A few months ago, way before we were talking again, and before Summer arrived, me and Marlon made a pact."

"What sort of pact?" he must have picked up on your nerves; his voice sounds shaky even in the slowly calming wind.

"We said when the tide was right at this place and we thought we were ready...we'd both surf Stairway when the swell picked up."

Ari says nothing, like he wants you to continue, to explain yourself, but to you, there's nothing more to say.

You watch him, his eyes scrutinising you, searching for a hint that you may be lying, or this may be some horrible joke that Marlon put you up to, but it's real. More real than you had hoped. "It's not like I can't do it, I mean..."

"You suppose I didn't think I could do it last year?" Ari says, his voice rising and raising in volume. "It's dangerous. You shouldn't let Marlon talk you into these things."

"He didn't; it was my idea!" you respond, suddenly annoyed at Ari's suggestion that you're so impressionable. "You don't think I can do it, do you?"

Ari sighs, in your opinion patronisingly, although that was probably just because all you are seeing is red. "It's not that I don't think you can't do it. But if you're out there, and no one knows you're out there..." he trails off. "Last time it was different: I jumped, Marlon didn't. He knew I was out there, so I was rescued."

"That's precisely why Marlon wants to do it." you snap back.

"What, thinks he has something to prove? That he's the better surfer?"

"No, he just wants to..." you stop abruptly, realising this is useless. You can't exactly blame Ari for not wanting you to go out there, but this is your decision.

"I'm going back home. I'll see you around, Y/n." Ari says finally, his gait purposeful as he walks with his back against the ocean, and you're left wondering how the night went so bad so quickly.