Desolate [Pokémon Arven x Protagonist]

We're All a Little Broken

I was so cold that night, sitting alone on the stone edge of the flowerbed that sat outside the open gate of the cemetery. I held my hands between my knees to warm them up a little as I thought: What do I do now?

She's gone.

She's gone, and everything is worse now.

I wanted to go home, but even the house didn't feel like home anymore. It was so empty, yet my mother's hateful words filled every corner. It seemed like they followed me outside, as well, always creeping behind me and whispering in my ear wherever I thought I finally escaped her. I never would. I had killed her, and my guilt will always be there.

"Don't let her get to you." Someone was beside me now. I didn't hear him sit down. Arven was so much younger now, but so was I. My mom died years ago, but I remembered everything so vividly. "Moms have a way of letting you down." I frowned. No one ever understood me or what I went through. What other child could say they killed both of their parents. "You're doing it again."

"Doing what?" I asked him.

"Believing everything your mom told you," Arven said.

"But I did!" I complained. "I was there when it happened!"

"They were sick. You had nothing to do with it." Arven teared up. "It was never our fault." He hid his face as he had done before when he mentioned his mom... then about Mabosstiff getting hurt....

I felt obligated to know the truth. I reached out to touch him. "What happened—" But I woke up. This time I remembered what happened.

Before I opened my eyes, I ran through everything over and over in my head. I rarely remembered my dreams; this one had to matter.

"Moms have a way of letting you down."

"It was never our fault."

I knew better than to take a dream so seriously. After all, it was all the brain's doing, but that idea only convinced me more that subconsciously I had put together that somehow Arven's mom had something to do with Mabosstiff's injury. I knew it was a sore topic to bring up, but I needed answers. If I knew what caused it, I could figure out how to help. I reached over to my desk for my phone and drowsily went into my text messages, rereading the last texts I'd sent him. Did I really want to ruin his mood? Should I wait until later in the day? Is it even worth asking? Maybe he wouldn't answer, and I would've forced him into some concealed trauma for no reason. What if he decided he didn't want me to help anymore? I locked my phone, deciding against it.

I sighed and stood up from my bed to start my morning routine. I had an umbreon to train after school. I could worry about Mabosstiff's past when we were fighting the donphan titan in a few days.

Umbreon was still slumped on the floor, melted into the wooden planks. "Did you want to stay with Umbreon while I'm in class?" I asked my Pokémon. I didn't plan to need them or battle anyone during the next few hours. Lycanroc licked Umbreon's steady head while Quaxwell nodded. "I'll be back this afternoon to start training for the next titan, alright?" The team spoke a goodbye as I left the room, heading towards the cafeteria before turning my focus to my classes.

It was the usual boring day, frequently interrupted by my thoughts about the next titan, but every time I felt my mind start to wander, I told myself to take it one step at a time. I wanted to make sure Umbreon was comfortable and ready to fight before I even worried about being able to beat the donphan. The caffeine from my morning coffee had my blood pumping and excited for the afternoon which made time seem to go twice as fast. I had received Nemona's text message picture of the notes and copied them during lunch after I ate a few bites of pho, gut too squirmy to have an appetite. I texted Penny to meet me at the rooftop battlefield after school, so she could help calm Umbreon. I went straight to my dorm after classes, tossing my homework to the side to deal with that evening.