Paper Hearts

ℙ𝕚𝕖𝕔𝕖 𝕠𝕗 𝕒 ℙ𝕦𝕫𝕫𝕝𝕖

Chapter 22: Piece of a Puzzle

Lex woke up with a sticky, hot face. He was sure his face was red and tear-streaked, but his thoughts immediately went to his beloved baby. He pulled his pillow towards himself, feeling his body tremble with a quiet sob. His phone rang in the eerie silence and he glanced at it through his teary eyes. My Calm Sea 🤍 showed up on the screen, and, reluctantly, he silenced his phone, turning his back to the vibrating device.

It was his own fault that he couldn't see his baby, and punishing himself this way was for the best. If only he'd stayed and spent more time with his family, maybe Anastasia would've been alive. Instead, his precious bundle of excitement's little fire was cruelly snuffed out. And now he was back in a depressive state of mind, with little to no energy to live life.

How... sad.

His phone stopped vibrating momentarily, and then the vibrating started up again. After 5 minutes of Fern constantly calling him, he received multiple messages, and assumed that Fern had messaged him.

His fingers twitched with the need to pick up his phone and answer him, but he wanted some time to himself, shut away from the rest of the world and concealing himself in prolonged, artificial nights.

Dawns became sunsets, days became nights, minutes became hours and days became weeks and still, Lex ignored both his lovers in favour of punishing himself for something that was clearly not his fault.

His grief only doubled when he saw something that reminded him of his niece. A few of her kindergarten friends had come a week after her death to inquire about her well-being and ask why she wasn't attending, and he couldn't answer them, breaking down and crying outside the front door.

The kids only took it as a bad sign, and Lex felt bad for upsetting them, but nothing could be done of it; Anastasia was gone.

His older sister had become hysterical as the days passed, but with her husband's help, she began to calm even though she still had terrible nightmares.

Sam had forced himself back into Lex's life after being ghosted for too long, and he was saddened that his best friend had fallen into such a terrible state of depression. His health, both mentally and physically, was concerning, but neither spoke of it, Lex letting Sam help him recover very, very slowly.

"I'm okay, I swear." Sam dragged Lex out of his room and down the stairs, where he sat the boy down on the couch and handed him food.

"'Okay' isn't good enough." Sam made stress marks with his fingers in the air. "We're still going for that walk, you can't stay in here forever." He gestured with his hand for Lex to start eating.

Slowly, Lex spooned his food into his mouth one by one until everything on his plate was finished. He handed Sam the plate, ready to walk off some of the food he was forced to inhale.

Sam sighed as he helped Lex into his coat. "You aren't doing good, Lex. Don't you want to... call... any of... them?"

Len instantly shook his head. Sam sighed again. "Never mind."

They both walked out into the Fall breeze, stepping on withering gold leaves with their shoes. Lex held Sam's hand firmly, a habit he picked up from Fern, but Sam never commented on it, only letting him do whatever helped him feel better.

They walked passed a small park and Sam let a soft smile fall on his face. "Remember when we use to play there?"

Lex laughed and nodded. "Yeah, I also remember the time you slid down the stairs face first and hit your head on the ground. You had a bump on your head for weeks!" He continued to laugh softly to himself.

"Yeah, yeah, poke fun at the idiot. FYI, Landon pushed me off." Sam sounded annoyed, but he was glad that Lex was finally smiling, if only for a little while.

"Sure."

Lex led the way, not really caring where they went as Sam continued to make him laugh. The two must've not taken notice of the weather as the sky began to rumble, a light shower falling upon the earth. Lex's startled cry turned into light laughter, kicking at small puddles that started to form on the ground. 

He knew the happiness was temporary, but he couldn't let go of the feeling. He continued to lead the way to wherever, Sam following along like a hopeless puppy. He did stop though, when his feet took him to a familiar house he didn't think he wanted to see so soon.

Sam was confused until he saw who stood outside, his short black hair stuck to his forehead, wet with rain. His denim jacket was slowly getting soaked, yet he didn't care, eyes trained solely on Lex. His glasses were dripping from the rain, his cheeks and nose ruby red from the cold.

"Lex?" Fern breathed, completely ignoring Sam's existence. He sniffled, taking a step down the stairs to his front door. "Lex, I mi-" His words cut off as the front door opened, revealing a girl with short blond hair coming out with an umbrella.

Lex's heart leaped up in his throat the moment Fern looked at him. His feet stayed rooted to the ground even as he wanted to turn and run. Fern looked sick, tired and thinner than the last time he saw him, but that was almost two months ago. When Fern spoke, Lex's heart squeezed in his chest. 

He'd missed that voice. So, so much.

But, like a man put under a cruel spell, his feet moved again, but not towards Fern, rather away from him. He could feel his clothes sticking to his skin, the rain soaking him even through his coat. Fern hurried down the steps; watching Lex walk away from him was too painful.

"Lex, wait, please!" He almost slipped through a puddle in his haste. But all his pleading didn't stop Lex from turning, finally, and running as fast as he could, his eyes seeing difficultly through his blurry eyes. 

"Lex!" He heard Sam shout, but he didn't stop. Not when his lungs burned, not when his sides hurt. At last though, he collapsed in a puddle of water, his knees scraping the hard, cold ground. His muscles burnt so, so badly, and he chastised himself for even feeling hurt at that moment. His shoulders shook with a violent sob, his tears disguised by the on-pour.

Sam reached him, crouching in front of him with a heartbroken expression. "Lex..."

"Sam," Lex gasped between hiccups. He fisted the fabric of his coat right above his chest as firmly as he could with how wet it was. "It- it hurts!"