The Protector and her Sidekick (Kiriko X reader)

Do I really deserve a second chance at life ?

the last 2 weeks have been quite busy for me didn't expect to have to work this much as a hero. but surprisingly people really like me,no...let me rephrase that,they like the scarlet protector. Still I'm impressed with how much they appreciate what I do on a daily basis,in less than a week I cleaned the city from all the dangerous and criminal organizations. it wasn't really difficult. I've fought so many hard battles before that whipping the floor with amateurs that barely know how to shoot correctly is honestly quite easy. I could say that I almost feel bad about them but that would be a lie.

it's pretty early on the morning and today is technically my day off since I don't have anything planned,so what to do ? y'know what ? I'm on the mood to eat something sweet! then to the grocery store we go!
as I open the door I see... My brother... I'm not surprised it's not the first time I hallucinate, it's a daily occurrence at this point. hurts like hell to see Hayato,Yuki and especially...Kiriko. and know that they aren't real,it's just my mind giving me the proper punishment I deserve.

"ha you can't affect me Hayato's hallucination! I've seen you and the other two enough everyday to the point that I'm almost immune to the emotional pain! I'm lying... every time it hurts more... but for my own dignity's sake let's pretend it doesn't!" even though it hurts so much it's better to smile through the pain than give in to the sadness. that's something I learned in the last two weeks and I'll hold this new way of thinking close to my heart it... really helps to keep my head up even if the suffering is unbearable.

"what are you talking about (Y/n) ?" the smirk on my face is gone after the hallucination started speaking to me... are they evolving ? great now it'll be even harder to face them...
"It's all great and all but I don't have time to lose with hallucinations today I just want to eat something sweet and forget a little of my worries so I'll be going! see you later when you and the other two will decide to haunt me like always!" as I tried to pass trough him I couldn't... it's not like the usual... he's speaking and does have a physical body... don't tell me that's really my brother...

"no you can't be real I killed you!" I must be becoming even more crazy than before... if this keeps up it'll be just a matter of time until I can't differentiate between reality and hallucinations...

"you almost killed me. but as you can see I'm still alive and no I'm not an hallucination so you aren't going crazy.
I know you damn well at this point that you've must been afraid of starting to go crazy right (Y/n) ?" His that really him ?

"H-How ?" it's all I was able to say,I don't believe in this! "you cut my arm off and broke both of Yuki's legs we both would've died if you didn't kill our "grandmother" the moment she died we were released from her spell and I could use my phone to call for some medical help for both of us,we just had to stop the bleeding before it was to late. since Yuki couldn't move I was the one who had to patch up our wounds it wasn't easy but we both survived,barely though." he does look like my brother act like him and even the damn smirk I love and hate is present. maybe I'm not crazy...

"I see... you two survived thank God... at least some of my sorrow I'll disappear..." I'm happy to know that my brother and sister are still alive but it doesn't change the fact that I almost killed them... I'll carry that sin with me until my last moments. and I left Kiriko behind... I'm struggling so much with my own mental health it's unbearable. does it really matter if I can recover from any physical injuries if my mind is my own personal hell ? I've been living in this vicious circle of pain,tears and guilty... I want to be free but I don't deserve such luxury...

"what do you exactly mean by some ?" he asked genuinely concerned "I'm not coming back brother I just can't..." I refuse to hurt my siblings and Kiriko again all I've done only made their life's worse if I stay away from them forever then nobody has to suffer anymore... right ?
"WHY NOT ? everyone that could be a problem for us in the future has been taken care of,both me and Yuki are alive,why can't you just go back to us ? to Kiriko ? do you even know how much emotional pain she's been going through ?" he's being 100% serious in this conversation a rare sight to see indeed, however I'm not intimidated by this. "Go back to what ? for something like that to happen again ? the last time you two survived but it'll always be like that ? what if you two really die ? What if I'm forced to hurt the people that are precious to me again ? I refuse,it's better this way. I can live alone then nobody has to worry anymore... besides I doubt Kiriko is suffering because of me maybe she already move-" before I could finish my brother slapped me on the face real hard.