At A Game of Chess

XV

I was so sure that she was going to be the first to talk to me for once.

So I waited. I waited months. Nothing happened. Every day was the same. If anything, Melanie seemingly avoided me even more. "Does she actually hate me?" I thought to myself. I'm so confused about her.

None of her knights were talking either.

At the same time, there was also this other girl. She seemed to be more obviously drawn to me compared to Melanie. Her name was Elsa. She was a petite girl with a slim figure. More of the definition of my type than Melanie, so to say. Our initial interactions were classmates helping classmates, however, after she asked me for my phone number, we began communicating on a daily. "If only Melanie was like this" I would think to myself. But that was also the reason why I was so captivated by her. Because Melanie was not like this.

I'm not going to lie, Elsa was attractive. Although she was not similar to Melanie, quite the opposite, she became my muse. A distraction from Melanie, my rook.

I began to accept Elsa. We progressed fast and my rook was already clinging to me. I could tell she was in need of me. Somewhat similar to me and Melanie. I often wondered if I would've been the same if Melanie openly accepted me into her life. Would I be clinging onto her desperately like this?

Being like this in front of Melanie didn't change anything. "Did she never feel anything, to begin with?" I thought. Melanie didn't even budge when Elsa openly held my hand in class.

Eventually, Elsa's clinging became a demand. She demanded I did the same. She wanted me to care for her and create intimacy with her.

I was disgusted.

She was treading closely to my boundaries. But, nonetheless, I still obliged. I held her the way she would request and clung onto her the way she would to me. I abandoned my morals. I felt dirty, contaminated. I was repulsed by my own actions.

Elsa led me to shamelessly betray Melanie in front of her. As my guilt for Melanie grew, so did my grudge against Elsa.

Hence, I decided to do everything at Elsa's request. Giving Elsa all the power she wants. Making her think that she has all the power over me.

This dragged on for months.

I even went to prom with Elsa so Melanie would be uncomfortable.

Come to find out, Melanie did not even go to prom.

I wanted to see her in a dress again. Like that time in DNS when she wore that beautiful white dress.

Towards the end of the school year, my relationship with Elsa soured. She did not like how I never agreed to be in an official relationship with her. How I never treated her like a partner.

She began to argue, "why don't you ever call me your girlfriend?"

"I already told you before, I am not ready for that commitment," I replied.

Understandably furious, she started complaining and arguing, "then what are we? We've been together for months and have been acting like we were in a relationship! You only acted like this because you like me right?"

"I only acted like this because you initiated it!"

"Does that mean you did not like it?"

"Elsa, let's break things off now as nothing serious has happened yet," I suggested.

"What do you mean? Why do you want to break things off?"

"You're not her," I unconsciously replied.

"Her? Did you already like someone?!"

"You don't get it, do you?" I questioned with a slight smirk.

Confused, she questioned, "what?

"You were just a pawn in my chess game!" I raised my voice furiously at Elsa.

Without realizing it, I showed my true intentions. Elsa looked at me with fear in her eyes. I bet she saw red. A murderous, bloodstain red. 

The game was over.

Three years into the making of something I was so certain that I was going to win. Melanie beat me. The damage is irreversible. I guess they were right. Love does make people crazy.