At A Game of Chess

II

At the end of our senior year, I was accepted into Brown University as a pre-med major.

She planned to attend a local community college in our area.

My aspiration of becoming a surgeon had all fallen into place. The difference was that my heart was not in place. I've been blindly wandering on my path to success without even knowing what my definition of success was. What does it mean to have a successful life?

Does it mean working a white-collar job?

Does it mean having enough money so I can make impulsive purchases?

Does it mean living a fulfilled life doing everything I've ever wanted to?

Working a job would be great, but does it have to be a white-collared job? Would I feel successful spending half of my days working a job? Working a job for what? To reach what end goal of mine?

Having enough money to meet the equilibrium with my impulsive purchase would also be great, but monetary satisfaction brings nothing but emptiness in the end. Sure, I would love the items I buy, but after a while, I would move on to something else. Would money and products really be the answer to my success?

Doing everything I've ever wanted to... Interesting.

What do I want?

I want to be with her.

Working jobs and earning money is not my definition of success.

My golden ticket to success is her. Being with her is my definition of success. She makes me feel fulfilled. Even with just her presence, I would feel complete. The thought of not even seeing her is treacherous. The deep-rooted emotions embedded within my heart excrete an indescribable, excruciating pain with just the mere thought of separation. Detachment.

I determined the answer.

Community college would be my knight in being with her once again. Completely dismissing my parent's fury, frenzy, and violence. I am settled on my decision and will stand firm. Their anger will never match even a tenth of my misery being without her.