[BoyxBoy] ✓ I Fell In Love With An Emo Boy

8. PROTECTOR

"Timothy was always a bit different from other kids. He was always more quiet. But he was happy. He had friends and he loved to draw and read. He played piano... He really was a happy go lucky kid once he felt comfortable around ya." Joe's eyes brightened and he smiled at fond memories.

I looked at the picture inside the spiderweb frame on the table.

It was a picture of Timothy as a kid. I couldn't help but smile. He did look very happy. In this picture he was laughing with his dad's arm around his shoulder. His hair was golden blonde, his skin golden colored. There was a woman next to him as well. She looked a lot like him. Very pretty.

"That's his mom." Joe leaned over the table and looked at the picture. His smile faded away.

"Cynthia passed away almost three years ago. She was Tim's best friend. He loved her so much and as much as I like to deny it, she understood him much better than I ever could. So when she passed... Timothy fell into a depression. He became even more quiet. There was even a time where he refused to speak at all. He cried every day, he locked himself in his room, he.."

It was awful watching Joe this hurt. I wanted to comfort him but I didn't know how.

"He really stopped caring about everything. He stopped drawing.. For a while it seemed like it was him that had died. Not his mom. And then he.." Joe rubbed his forehead. Immeasurable amounts of pain flooded his eyes.

"He tried to take his own life.." Joe's tears fell on the table. He quickly wiped them away. "He'd used my razor blades to do it.." Joe covered his face. "I should've hidden them better. I knew he wasn't doing well!"

"Hey, it's not your fault!" I rose from my chair.

"I know! I know that but I can't let go of.. that image of him.. Bleeding from his wrists, his eyes closed.. That little boy, he was only thirteen!"

The only thing I could think to do was grab a tissue from the kitchen and hand it to him.

He wiped his eyes and blew his nose.

"I called the ambulance. They took him away and they saved him. I'd heard those stories of people surviving suicide attempts like.. jumping off the golden gate and things. How the second they leaped they regretted it and wanted to undo it. Not Timothy. When I came in the hospital and he opened his eyes and saw my face... I could see the confusion and then the disappointment.."

My eyes began to sting. I even got a little emotional hearing all this. How could Timothy ever do such a thing? I pinched my eyes.

"He went to a mental facility. He came back from that place a different person. He smiled more. But they weren't true smiles. Not like this," Joe pointed at the picture.

"He was overly polite. Overly apologetic and once again very, very quiet. He hardly moved. He only pretended when I was around but I could see him stare out of his window when he thought I wasn't looking. Just sitting and staring."

Joe sat next to me at the island table. "That went on until he was fourteen. I made sure to keep him busy. We were doing project after project. Then he began to listen to that dark music he likes and he told me about wanting to dye his hair and paint his nails and stuff. It scared the shit out of me. I was worried for him. About what people would say. I was worried some guys would get the wrong idea but I let him anyway. I was just happy he was even the slightest bit excited about something again." Joe laughed.

"That's why our house is like this. I told Timothy he could do whatever he wanted to our house so long as he stayed away from his arms. It gave him something to do. I didn't care if it looked ridiculous."