Chapter 40

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Chapter forty: It's not fair

Rain Moretti

Everything happens for a reason

A reason that may you joy or have the potential to possibly destroy you.

In my head everything was starting to work out, my relationship with Angelo and the possibilitiy of me fixing things with my sister, which now isn't going to happen anyways course she might be dead.

But after the whole debacle I doubt it.

Right now time had stopped and I was not ready.

"Mrs Moretti?" I heard someone yell at me softly, bringing ne back to the  reality I so deeply wanted to escape at the moment. "Your husband brought you a change of clothes, would you like me to help you?" the nurse from earlier on asked politey.

"No it's fine, I can do it myself but thanks anyway." I said to her with a fake smile and took the clothes from her as I entered the ensuite bathroom in my hospital room.

Removing my clothes, I turn on the shower and step in letting the warm water hit my body, letting my thoughts wonder.

I've tried killing myself , or should I rather say attempt to harm myself three times and I failed. I've got the scares to prove it, but I don't think they're still visible.

You're probably wondering, why am I thinking about this right now? It's because I don't think it's fair bringing an unborn child into a world I hate so much.

A world that I deem unfit and unhealthy for pure, and innocent soul. It wasn't fair that most children were born to be in homes that didn't give them the love and affection they deserved.

But that did not mean, that I was going to turn womb into a grave yard.

After ten minutes of standing under the warm water and the next fifteen spent cleaning myself up, a faint knock echoes throughout the steamy bathroom.

"Mam do you need any assistance?" a different female voice asked, you hear the fear in her words which only meant Angelo was back from his phone call.

"I'll be out in a minute." I shouted quickly, drying myself off and changing.

I made my way out to the room only to find my belongings packed and ready to go. A younger nurse was busy tidying up the bed and looking at how she was dressed overwhelmed me with irritation.

She turned to look at me and clicked her tongue and mumbled something like " Could've done better than her." but before I could say anything to the short hoe, the door open and Angelo walked in.

"If you're done packing you may leave." he told her before turning his attention to me.

Suddenly the room felt small and I couldn't hear myself breath.

"Let's go Tesoro." he said and proceeded to intertwine our hands together as we walked out of the hospital.

It wasn't our first time holding hands, but fear gripped every part of my body with a choke hold while anxiety was eating me away.

I was silent the entire time. And the moment we got in the car, I breathed a little and his driver started driving us back to the mansion, which was bummer because had Angelo been driving then he wouldn't have to focus his attention on me.

Next thing I know he'd grabbed my face and faced me towards him. " Why are you so nervous?" he asked me, so calmy I would have fallen asleep at the of his tone.

"I'm not." I barely whispered, not sure who I was trying to convince. Me or him.

"Really now? I can literally hear heartbeat and the way you've been trying to fiddle with your fingers since we got here." he replied, seriously. Long gone was my calm Angelo.

"You couldn't hear my heartbeat from so far, don't lie." I said to him, trying to change the subject. I could ready feel my cheeks turning red at his observing.

"Stop trying to change the subject Rain and tell me what's wrong."

"It's everything. Including the baby." I told him, feeling anxious at his response.

His features softened when he saw my fear and pulled me on his lap and hugged me. I know that it wasn't the time but he's hugs were the best, imagine me saying this with dreamy eyes.

" I won't force you to keep it, if you don't want to."

"But I do." I turn to face him.

"You want to keep it?" he asks, an unrecognizable emotion on his face.

I nodded and then ask him "Don't you?"

"The choice is yours, Rain wouldn't force you to do something you don't want to."

If possible heart was beating faster than the fastest sports car and the tears started falling. I wasn't expecting Angelo to want the baby, I expected him to be angry and doubtful like how the other half the population of men reacted.

Without even realizing it, we had made it made to the house and it seemed like the staff was expecting us. That made me wonder if Angelo had told anyone else the news, course I was sure as hell that I didn't want anyone else knowing at the moment.

Angelo opened the door to our bedroom for me and everything was still the same as I had left it, except for the clean bedding and the mixed lavender scent.

" But what if I end up being a bad mother? Like mine was?" I found myself asking Angelo while he changed into more comfortable clothes I guess.

"Which one?" he asked leaning on the door of the walk in closet with nothing but sweatpants, his tone evident with amusement.

I gave him the deadliest death stare I could. "Too soon Angelo, too fucking soon." i told him, as I walked out of the room and banging the door behind me.

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I don't have anything to say or to justify my disappearance 🙂

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