𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐀𝐍𝐘𝐌𝐏𝐇 || ʜᴀᴡᴋꜱ

56 ➟ In which I don't.

[Y/N]'s POV

   I couldn't feel my knuckle with the sheer intensity of my grip on the knife's handle. Everything was oddly foggy. I knew exactly where I was, and why I was in this position, but it all felt as if I had been watching it from an audience and now, I was in the position I'd been watching from far, far away.

My eyes were trained on Hawks, who was on his knees in front of Kitsu and me, a blade of feathers pointed at her chest, his eyes on me.

"Are you okay?" He asked a serious tone to his voice I hadn't heard for a while.

I nodded, "Are you?"

He let out a breathy laugh, "Why wouldn't I be?"

I smiled, "I was just checking." Lelija's figure in the corner of my eye caught my attention, quickly making me realise that I hadn't told Hawks, "Lelija is Noire," I said immediately.

"He knows idiot, he knows everything," Kitsu spat out, "so if you're going to kill me, do it now, so I can be with the Librarian."

"Yes, why don't you do that?" I looked up to see Lelija, standing over Hawks, staring down at me and immediately, without thinking, I shut my eyes. Squeezing them so tightly that static-like images started flickering across my vision.

"Let's see how long you can keep that up," Lelija laughed, "Is it easier to kill someone with your eyes closed?"

"Piss off," I spat out, that being the only thing I could think of saying at the moment. Not my proudest comeback, I'll admit, but I was holding a knife to someone's throat, wearing the least combat-friendly dress in the world whilst trying to avoid being sent into a trance again by someone who'd just sent hundreds of people off the top of a building to their death and being witty wasn't the thing I was focusing on the most at the time.

"... You want them to kill me?" A quiet, childlike voice came from directly in front of me, belonging to Kitsu. 

"You really think you mean that much to me now my grandfather is dead, he only kept you around for his own sadistic pleasure," There was venom to her voice, "he was going to kill you himself sooner or later." 

Kitsu whimpered, "No, he wasn't." 

"Don't flatter yourself, Kitsu, you're a child, what use did he have for you?" 

"I was his family!" 

"I am his family!" Lelija shouted, and I felt Kitsu tense and recoil under my grip as she began to sniffle like a hurt puppy. She almost went limp then, as if all the fight had left her in that single moment, the harsh words from Lelija doing more damage than I thought they ever would. 

I heard a shuffle, but felt no movement, indicating that it was either Lelija or Hawks moving. I made sure to keep a tight grip on the knife in my hand, looking down to the ground to avoid any eye contact with Lelija, knowing full well that I would not let myself be controlled by her for one more second if I had anything to do with it. It was a horrid feeling. As if your whole body was completely numb- like pins and needles, but the needles were pricking and dragging up and down your skin. Not too dissimilar to when Clover had walked me down the steps to the underground speakeasy, or when the Librarian had tried to walk me out of the building- and It'd been her the whole time- the sharp realisation hitting me like a ton of bricks and yet I could've sworn I'd not met eyes with her in either of those situations, all I remember was the briefest flash of purple in each of their eyes.

Rin's quirk allowed him to see through others' eyes and them to do the same in turn- it was an unfortunate realisation to assume that Lelija could do the same with her quirk. All she needed to do was get into someone's head- so I decided to search for Rin's instead, reasoning that he of all people would have a much better advantage over someone with a similar mental quirk.