State Of Grace

Chapter 31 - Long Live

The pain that had once turned into a tingle started to intensify again, making the pale girl wince in pain as she was pulled from a sleep that was anything but restful. Her eyes opened to a squint and she saw the white lights, heard the beeping, and felt the stiff bed sheet scratching against her dehydrated skin, but it was that familiar chemical smell that told Gracie where she was before anything else.

"Did I do it again?" She asked herself, her memory foggy. "I'm sorry," she croaked.

She'd assumed it was her fault that she was in the hospital again, she must have accidentally cut too deep, or maybe she even wanted to do it. All she knew was that she didn't feel that way anymore, she wanted to live.

"Mom, mama," she called out, with a dry throat. She knew she needed her parents but she was dreading the looks on their faces.

"We need a nurse in here, now!" She breathed a sigh of relief when she heard Lilah's voice and felt her hand touch her arm.

She tried to sit up and grimaced as the pain returned with her memory. It all returned to her at once, Amber, the kitchen, the knife. "It hurts," Gracie's whole body tensed, the pain ripped through her stomach. A layer of thick cold sweat spread across her skin.

"I know, baby," Lilah swept Gracie's hair from her forehead and dabbed her face with a cold flannel, bringing her further into consciousness.

"Gracie, my love," Stella came into view, she and her wife stood at the side of Gracie's bed. "We're so glad you're okay, the police told us what happened. Do you remember?"

Images of stark red blood on dull yellowed tiles and the glint of a shiny silver blade flashed in her brain. She could still see Amber's face as she forced the blade in, she'd never seen anyone so angry and scared at the same time. 

"Amber," Gracie didn't hesitate before giving up the name of her attacker. Though she knew what Amber did was wrong, she blamed herself just as she had when John attacked her. If she had just turned her in the last time she hurt her, maybe she'd be locked up by now.

A nurse rushed into the room and immediately started examining Gracie, shining a light in her eyes, asking questions to check her cognitive functions, taking her blood pressure, and adjusting the bag of medicine that was attached to Gracie through a tube and needle. She could feel the cold liquid moving from the bag into her arm, and she felt the pain start to dull slightly, and she was able to relax a little bit.

"I need to check the wound," the nurse said, "Is that okay?" She asked. Gracie nodded.

She pulled up the hospital gown to reveal the dressing that lay just next to the scar from the surgery she had when she was hospitalized for her stomach ulcer. She couldn't face having to see the wound that Amber had left, so she turned her head to the side and buried it in the pillow, letting it absorb her tears. She wasn't crying because of the pain, whatever drugs the nurse had given her were helping with that, she was crying because, yet again, she was causing problems and giving her family another reason to worry.

"Everything looks good, no signs of infection," the nurse spoke to Gracie's parents in a whisper, wanting to spare the whimpering girl any details, "Like the doctor said, the blade was small and didn't hit anything vital, so he'll be stopping by in an hour or so to discuss what recovery will look like."

When Gracie saw the knife that Amber had forced into her, it didn't look small, it seemed huge at the time.

Stella and Lilah thanked the nurse and closed the door behind her for a moment of privacy with their child. Both women looked worn. Gracie knew it was her fault they were so exhausted.

Gracie wiped away her tears as best she could, "Can I sit up?" She asked.

Lilah held a button on the side of Gracie's bed and moved her slowly until she was in a more upright position, "Is that okay?" She asked, "I don't want you to put too much strain on your body," Lilah began fluffing the pillow behind Gracie's head, folding the blanket delicately over her, doing just about everything she could to make Gracie as comfortable as possible. Stella took her wife's hand and gave her a look. She knew that their daughter hated it when they fussed over her.