Regret || Reggie Peters

//*Chapter One*\\

•2020•

I hadn't felt any pain after Andrew kicked me. That's how I knew I had died. I was in a dark room, all alone, and then suddenly I was back on the streets I grew up in.

At first I thought that maybe I was given a second chance at life but I quickly started to realize how untrue that was when I could walk through people and they couldn't see or hear me.

It wasn't too long after that when I realized people could hear me sing. It happened right after I realized what year it was; 2018. I couldn't help but be sad over the fact that the boys had probably forgotten I even existed.

I started singing my feelings. I sang thinking that no one could hear me but then a couple walked by and started humming along. I stopped singing out of shock and the couple looked around in confusion. "Must be a problem with the speakers" the man said. "That sucks, I really liked that song." The women replied.

That's when I started singing to people on the beach and I've been doing it ever since.

Being a ghost for two years has given me a long time to think about things. I have long since realized that Andrew was bad for me. I felt like an idiot for not realizing it sooner.

The worst part about it is that part of me still believes the things he said. Part of me still believes that I'm annoying and useless and that I'm a burden.

I hate him for it everyday.

I haven't tried looking for him. Why would I? He killed me.

I haven't tried looking for the boys either. Seeing them be happy without me would just make me sad. That doesn't mean that I don't think about them though. They're on my mind every hour of every day.

I should probably start heading over to the museum; that's where my friend Willie likes to meet. He's also a ghost and he says he doesn't mind my weird urges. Apparently he used to have a friend before he died who also had weird urges. He said it was possible that I could have a range of mental disorders like autism or ADHD but that it was impossible to tell since we couldn't exactly go see a doctor.

I didn't care; I was fine with not knowing. I rather be labelled as normal, or even better: not labelled at all.

Oh! I'm here. I must've got lost in my thoughts again.

I open the door to the museum and make my way over to Willie whose already here and patiently waiting for me. I tell Willie everything. He even knows all about my past boyfriend because I thought that it would be nice to open up to somebody about it; I was right.

"Hi Willie!" I shout to him as I skip over to his side.

He cracks open a smile. "Sup Ash? Have you thought about my offer?" He asks and I sigh.

Every time we meet up, he asks me if I wanna join his weird ghost cult thing. Apparently I can be seen if I perform with them which sounds exciting, but something about that Caleb guy doesn't seem right with me.

Still, I go there occasionally to sing but I wouldn't wanna join in permanently.

"The answers still no but I'll come over in a few minutes and sing a little." I reply.

Willie sighs. "Alright, see you then." He says, and then he's gone.

I quickly get dressed into something nice and poof over to the ghost theatre place. Willie is there waiting for me as always with an uncomfortable emotion splayed across his face but I don't question it because if he wanted to tell me he would.

"Shall we?" I question as I hold out my arm for him to take. He nods his head stiffly and we enter the theatre.

As soon as we enter, Caleb speaks up through the microphone. "And now performing for us is Asher Mercer!"

Stupid psychic ghost bastard.

I plaster a smile on my face and make my way onstage. I tell the band what to play and then get into my position before the music starts and I get lost in song.

"Sovereignty up on a hill
Shooting guns and passing bills
Promising the world could be alright
If these people, these sheep
Could just quit and believe
In the system of pretending
That everything is fine..."

I practically jog to the front of the stage. The crowd waits for the chorus eagerly and I give it to them.

"Whispered words start revolutions
Weary souls break constitutions
And glory only comes when the good
When the good die young"

The audience cheers loudly as I go into the second verse but my eyes find Caleb smirking at me in the audience.

"Take another, a sister or brother
You're egging me on
If you take the only ones
Who'd care when I'm gone"

I ignore him for now and try to focus on my music. All I have to do is find Willie in the crowd smiling back at me and I'll know I'll be fine.

"I'm too angry to sleep
Too tired to keep runnin'
But I'm wanted by a God
Who's so afraid of death
He's starting to become it
Oh power, power a hero calls
From the bottom of a bottle watch him fall"

I found him but he's not smiling at me. He's looking at me guiltily and that's when I notice the purple magic swirling within Caleb's palm. Willie betrayed me.

"Let whispered words start revolutions
Weary souls break constitutions
And glory only comes when the good
When the good die young"

Caleb walks up on stage and I know he's waiting for me to finish. I know I have to find a way out of here.

"Give me power, power a hero calls
From bottom of a bottle watch him fall
Whispered words start revolutions
Weary souls break constitutions
And glory only comes when the good
When the good die young
When they die young when the good die young
When the good die young"

As they song ends I poof to the beach but it's almost as if he knew I'd go there because he's waiting there for me. He grabs my hand and stamps me.

My soul is his.