Regret || Reggie Peters

//*Chapter Four*\\

•Asher's POV•

Reggie saw me. I don't know what to make of that except that I'm going to have to face him. He knows now. He knows that I'm dead.

I need to see Willie. No. Willie betrayed me.

Shit. It doesn't matter; I'm going to have to see him anyway because I have to be at the ghost theatre in a few minutes.

I sit down in the soft sand of the beach and stare out at the lake. Is this really what my existence has come to? Am I really gonna spend eternity in some ghost band that I don't wanna be apart of? What's even the point?

You know what? Fuck Caleb! Fuck Willie, too! I'm not going to that stupid ghost theatre. I'm going to stay right here at the beach and I'm going to sing whenever the fuck I want.

Consequences be damned, I'm gonna choose my own path.

"I got a feeling
That tonight's gonna be a good night
That tonight's gonna be a good night
That tonight's gonna be a good, good night
A feeling"

I dance across the beach, feeling alive for the first time in a really long time.

"That tonight's gonna be a good night
That tonight's gonna be a good night
That tonight's gonna be a good, good night
A feeling, woo-hoo
That tonight's gonna be a good night
That tonight's gonna be a good night
That tonight's gonna be a good, good night
A feeling, woo-hoo"

As I sing I hear a couple talk to each other in the background. "You won't find a speaker, it's direct spot audio, I heard about it in a Ted Talk."

"That tonight's gonna be a good night
That tonight's gonna be a good night
That tonight's gonna be a good, good night"

By now, I'm full on lost in the music, almost completely unaware of my surroundings.

"Tonight's the night, let's live it up
I got my money, let's spend it up
Go out and smash it, like, oh my God
Jump off that sofa, let's get, get off
I know that we'll have a ball
If we get down and go out and just lose it all
I feel stressed out, I wanna let it go
Let's go way out spaced out and losing all control
Fill up my cup, mazel tov
Look at her dancing, just take it off
Let's paint the town, we'll shut it down
Let's burn the roof, and then we'll do it again
Let's do it, let's do it, let's do it, let's do it
And do it, and do it, let's live it up
And do it, and do it, and do it, do it, do it
Let's do it, let's do it, let's do it"

I sing the last verse like my life depends on it.

"'Cause I got a feeling, woo-hoo
That tonight's gonna be a good night
That tonight's gonna be a good night
That tonight's gonna be a good, good night
A feeling, woo-hoo"

I smile as I finish and look around the beach but I stop when I catch the eyes of three familiar boys, all staring at me slack jawed.

I'm suddenly stood frozen and my mind goes blank. I'm so out of it that I don't even notice Reggie running up to me until it's too late and he has wrapped me in his arms.

Despite my fear, I melt into the embrace and hug him back. "I missed you so much." I hear Reggie breathe into my shoulder.

I don't reply, I only tighten my hold on him for comfort. Whether it's for my comfort or his, I am unsure.

Suddenly two other pairs of arms wrap around me and I can't help the tears that fall from my eyes.

"I can't believe you died." Luke says softly. "After all that happened with us...we thought you were alive and happy."

I try to say something back to him. Anything. I just can't.

Luke and Alex let go of me while Reggie stays wrapped in my arms, almost as if he's afraid to leave them.

Luke and Alex look at each other knowingly before poofing away, most likely back to Julie.

Reggie eventually pulls away to look at me. "Hi." I say dumbly.

He laughs through his tears. "Hi."

"H-how did you..."

"Bad Hotdogs." He replies quickly with a sad smile. "How did you...die?"

"Broken neck." I say softly but casually, causing his eyes to widen.

"What?!? But how could you have..." he trails off before realization seems to strike him. "...Andrew."

I nod slowly, unsure if it was a question or a statement. Reggie sighs shakily, pacing back in forth across the Sandy beach.

"I knew something was up with that guy!" He exclaims more to himself. "I saw the bruises on your arms and I saw the cuts you sometimes got, but I didn't know what to do and now-" his voice cracks. "Now you're dead."

I look down, unable to meet his regretful gaze. "It wasn't your fault, you were just a kid and-"

"So we're you!!!" He snaps. "You we're also just a kid!! You were only a year older than I was back then, and you had to endure all that and I couldn't do anything to help you!!"

His self loathing words fill me with an anger I didn't know I had. "Shut up!!" I shout and Reggie looks up at me, startled. "Don't you get it?!? There's nothing you could've done!!! It was my fault!! I was the one who believed him when he said I was worthless! I was the one who let him hit me!! I was the one who let him kill me!!!

Suddenly all my anger vanishes as if it had been drained from my body. I fall to my knees and cry. All the emotions I've kept bottled up just pour out.

Reggie sits down next to me and pulls me into his lap and we stay there for hours.

"Maybe we should go." Reggie whispers in my ear after a while. "The guys are probably worried about us."

I nod my head in agreement but as I go to stand up, a jolt of pain tears at my insides. Reggie has to help me stay on my feet.

"What was that??" He asks, panicked.

"Nothing." I say, brushing it off quickly. "Just a little dizzy."

Reggie looks at me sceptically but decides to let it go for now. Right before we poof back to the studio, I check the time and realize that my performance at the Ghost Club would've been over by now.

Caleb knows. 

I don't have much time left.