"You say you want to die for love, but you know nothing about dying and you know nothing about love".
-Hector, Troy(2004)
I might not know anything about love or death but growing up, death, to me has always been synonymous with peace.
And perhaps that is why, Death will never come to me when I want her to. I believe she will knock on my door when I've finally found my peace in life.
It's as if Death and Life have a secret deal. I believe when I finally manage to fall in love with Life, Death would come seek me out.
She would knock on my door and when I open the door, she would smile and say, "it is time, my love."
I would ask," time for what?"
She would say, "For you to come home darling."
And I would reply, "Now? You come to me? Now, when I've finally found my home here, in life? Must you be so cruel? "
She would say nothing. She would only smile and extend her pale yet beautiful hands towards me. She would utter not a single word and yet, I, like the very fool in love, would still take her hand.
For she was my first love. My peace. My home. It would not matter how long or difficult the journey of life had been for me. It would not matter that after quite a long and struggling journey, I would've had finally found my peace and happiness with life. In life.
For she was my real peace. My real home.
And I knew no matter what that, it was only when I was with her, would i be able to feel true happiness.
The sheer delight of a lover returning to the loving embrace of their beloved.
The pure bliss of a lost soul finally finding their home.
People say that home needn't necessarily be a place, it could also be a person. For me, Death has always been it.
So when she extends her hands for me to take, of course I would take them. I would smile and say, "I am willing to go anywhere you take me, so long as you are right by my side."
I would turn around to look at Life, see her already smiling at me, and, with tears in my own eyes smile and wave at her in a final goodbye and depart this earth with my one true love. Death.
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