concerning father time
i lose track of time, always.
you hide the finite
in the infinite,
causing every second
i spend with you
to become never-ending.
it is a beautifully woven illusion.
because somehow
our time together ceases.
and when it does,
i am returned to
watching the clock
and counting minutes
until the next time we speak.
i look onward
to the time when
we can be together.
to the time when
we no longer have to be separate.
to the time when
everything that once saddened me
becomes a "lembrança".
a reminder of how far
we have come.
i can hardly wait.
but for you, my love,
i would wait an aeon.
time is a friend.
time is an enemy.
he slows when you are near.
he slows when you are far.
i love what he does for us,
yet i fear losing you to him.
you know,
we live in the future
and in the past,
because there is no
right here, right now.
this life is but
a speck of time
in eternity.
it is a vapor.
God blinks
and all we know
is finished.
it is nothing to infinity.
but spending it with you
makes it something.
every moment suddenly matters.
it is as if
this twinkle of time
exists for us.
and i believe,
so long as the love
is not primarily our own,
for better or for worse...
through the multiple deaths
of who you once were...
i will love you
unconditionally,
with no end.
straight into eternity.
and the love we will share
once in Paradise
will be better than anything
we have ever known.
it is the inevitable
i unknowingly needed.
then again,
needs are just deep wants
which we have no understanding of.
so this is what i have wanted all along.
what i have needed all along.
all this goodness
from needing and wanting.
why?
i am undeserving.
i am but a wretched soul.
i do not deserve
to feel the way
you make me feel.
God knows
i am unworthy.
of all of it.
everything.
and yet,
i have it all,
because i have you.
