In the Wake of the War

Chapter-23

The Empress called them in once the Dasi had announced their presence. Both she and Princess Subhadra looked rather surprised to see them.

That was only fair, Bhanumati thought, given that Subhadra had been trying to get her to come out and talk for a while now and she had insistently ignored all her attempts.

It was just. It was hard to face Empress Draupadi. On one hand she felt anger and resentment, that if only she had forgiven her husband's and Dushasan's actions and Bhrata Karna's words, then perhaps they would still be alive.

But she knew that was unfair. What they had done.... it was not really forgivable. It had taken her years to forgive her husband and it hadn't even happened to her. 

She also knew that her husband and his uncle were the ones to blame the most for his war. That even if he had only returned Indraprastha to the Pandavas after their exile, much of this devastation could have been avoided. He could still be alive. Their son, their nephews, brothers  and Bhrata Karna could still be alive.

But... what the mind logically knew often did not correspond with what the heart felt.

But she had been serious about taking matters into their own hands about helping the Widowed women of her Kingdom. Because even though she was no longer the crown princess or really in any position to take any kinds of decisions about the Kingdom, it was still her Kingdom as it had been for years. And for that she did need to talk to the Empress.

...As well as apologise. The apology definitely needed to come first.

"Come sit, didi and didi!" Princess Subhadra said immediately, getting up and ushering the two of them on the couches. She could be rather sweet, Bhanumati mused. Where she got this cheerfulness from though, after losing her son, that she could not understand.

"This is a pleasant surprise." The Empress commented. 

Bhanumati and Chandramukhi exchanged glances, Neither of them were certain of how to begin the conversation and the atmosphere was bound to turn awkward soon.

"Right so...." Bhanumati began haltingly, "I... have been sort of discourteous as of late by .... by basically ignoring you both."

"Oh no, that's fine we don't mind at all." Princess Subhadra rushed to say and then subtly elbowed the Empress when she didn't assure them of the same. 

Empress Draupadi arched an eyebrow at her co-wife before turning back to them.

"It is fine." She said. "It is understandable that you are grieving and I'm probably the last person you want to see." She added sardonically.

"No, that's Yuvraj Bheem." Chandramukhi said bluntly.

Bhanumati barely held back an inappropriate snort.

"Yes." She cleared her throat. "And well, we also owe you an apology. For-for-"

The words got stuck in her throat. It was still hard for her to spell it out. She could not imagine what the Empress must have felt. She still couldn't understand how her husband and brother in law could have done it. They had always been perfectly loving and respectful to them. Her husband had loved her, she knew. He had cared for all his sisters in law as well. Well. Sisters in law on this side of the family. So how. How could he have done so to another woman, another sister in law?

And how could Bhrata Karna of all people call her... a harlot? He had always been so kind, so loving and he had often held back Duryodhan from doing some nonsense but. But then, not only had he not tried to stop the disaster from happening, he encouraged it.