Life Over Death

Lost <3

[ THIS STORY  CONTAINS SUICIDE ⚠️]
                -stud4stud story!!!

Pain

verb
cause mental or physical pain to.

They say pain is temporary, you go through pain then you get over it. Not me though.. my pain decide to stay. This kind of pain is unexplainable. Its like my body is trying to show me happiness but my mind isn't letting me. It's like my soul is lost. Physically I'm here but mentally I'm very far away.

I felt that I completed my mission I was no longer in darkness and I  found my light just a slightly difference, I thought my pain was gone. I thought I was finally free.

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Adrii POV

                            Time: 8:15

I woke up Looking at the time . It was 8am and school starts at 7. Shit, I'm late again. Sense my mom works all day and doesn't come home until 9pm, I have no one to wake me up and I always forget to set my alarm.

I stretched and groan. I don't want to leave my bed. I love my bed. It brings me comfort. Too bad I got to get up and get ready for school. I forced my self out of bed and did a wide stretch before yarning. I wiped my eyes and went to get my clothes that was already sitting on the chair. Sense I'm always running late, I started to pick my clothes out a day before so that I'll already have them ready. I threw my clothes on sense I showered last night there was no need to. I'm already running late.

I left out my room shutting then locking the door. Yes, I have a lock that needs a specific key to unlock it on my door. My family is nosy as fuck. I don't let anyone invade my privacy.

I walked into the bath that was down the hall from my room to wash my face and brush me teeth. After I was finished, I smiled in the mirror showing my pearly white teeth.

I then walked out the bathroom walking downstairs. I walked to the kitchen opening the fridge then grabbing the peanut butter and jelly along with the bread fixing me a quick sandwich.

After I made my sandwich, I grabbed my backpack that was handing in the shelf and walked out the door locking it.

I saw that Noah's car was outside still parked . He must be still asleep. Noah is my brother. Well, not biologically.. sense I was the only child and my mom didn't want any other kids of her own, she adopted noah when he was 12 and I was 8 he's now 20 and I'm 17. He's like my best friend now. I feel like he's my blood brother.

I love him so much.

Although he don't see how much pain I'm in, Im sure he'll realize the day I finally give up. I don't want to leave Noah in the world alone.. that's selfish of me.

I just can't do it anymore. I've been hurting for sooo long. It hurts me that no one notice, not even my own mother. How do you not see that your own daughter is in pain?

although I don't talk to no one about my feelings I feel like they should know when a person is deeply hurting, even when they hide it so we'll.....

I walked to my usual bus stop as I waited for the bus. About 10 long minutes the bus finally pulled up.

I walked into the bus placing my bus car ontop the thingy that pays my bus fair then walked to the back of the bus. I never sit in the front, it make me feel like I'm being watched. I like to be the observer.

I sat down in a window seat and looked out the window the whole way to school. It didn't take long to pull up to school. The bus stopped at the stop near my school and I got up walking out the back door.

I then began to walk getting closer and closer to the entrance of the school building. When I came face to face to the school door, I let out a big sigh. I already know how naggy my 3rd period teacher can be. She always in my business and worried about why I'm late. I don't ready see a problem, at least I came.

I pulled open the door and signed in my name and student ID at the front desk. I was then buzzed in. I walked around not seeing a lot of people in the halls. We only got about 45 student that goes to this school sense it's alternative. As I was walking I saw the janitor. As I walked passed him he nodded he head at me and smiled. I lightly smiled back as I walked passed him then to my 3rd hour. I hesitated before knocking . I really don't want to hear any of her bull shit today.

I knocked on the door lightly and waited patiently for it to open. Seconds later the door flew open "Oh look who decided to come to school late again" Ms.Mai started.

I rolled my eyes not saying anything as I headed to the back of the class were my regular seat was.

"Open your book Ms.Tardy, were on page 7" Ms.Mai said as she sat back on her seat

Ugh. Reading another fucking book. I wish she would assign something else for else to do.

I opened my page to page 7 and faked read along with everyone else .

I literally hate school. It's because I'm surrounded by people. I hate people. I literally have no friends. Not because I couldn't have them. I simply chose not to. I'm a loner and I'll like for it to stay that way.

Not too long after the bell rang...

"Ok everyone stack your books on the front table then head to your 4 period" Ms. Lai demanded.

Everyone got up. I rushed to get out the door after placing my book on the table "Adri'ya" my teacher called to me and I let out a big sigh. What the hell do she want with me..

Everyone was out the class already by now except for this stud that had dropped her work on the way out. She was picking it up from the ground. I wanted to help, but Ms.Mai seemed eager to talk to me .

I walked back looking directly at Ms. Mai

"Your failing this class drastically. Your always late for school, but your here everyday. That should be enough for you to be catching up on your work"

"I know I'm gonna get back on track. I just need time" I said as I looked at the ground

"Well how much time? Because this quarter is almost over"

"Well I don't know. I'll have everything done before the quarter end. I swear"

"Ok I certainly hope so, I don't want to have to drop you into a lower class. You have a lot of potential and your a very smart lady. I just need for you to do the work that your assigned with"

This bitch talks forever. I get it damn.

"Ok" I said walking away heading out the door  and I heard Ms Mai sigh. As I walked out I noticed that stud was no longer there.

I know my grades aren't the best right now but shit, I'm in school right? I do need to fix them though I don't wanna have to drop into a lower class with all the slow learners.

I've been slacking bad. My heads not in the right place right now. Im sincerely hurting on the inside. I'm heart is hurting badly. Although I play it cool and act happy on the outside, I don't want to be here...

Here as in on this Earth. I just want to disappear.

I walked to my 4th period class right before the late bell rang. I looked around noticing that there were only 6 people in class. Classes are a lot this little. Sense there's hardly anyone in this school.

"Good morning Ms. Adrii" my favorite teacher greeted me with a smile

"Good Morning Ms.Garner" I said returning the same smiled

"This is just a make up day, so anything you have missing in my class you need to get caught up ok?"

I nodded my head "uh can you give me my missing work?"

She gave me a notebook that was already prepared "just go through this and if there's anything that you don't think you did, get it done"

"Bet" I said walking into the back empty seat.