Anti-Romantics

Grand Gesture

Meredith placed her right hand on red. The hospital had thrown together a party, correction Izzie had thrown a party. It had been a few months since the incident. Meredith had put in the most effort not to see Derek, she was too embarrassed to face him. She didn't like being seen like that and she didn't like how he had to take care of her. Meanwhile Derek and Addison had gotten back together while she was gone. "She's acting like she's okay." He whispered to Mark. "She's not. She won't talk to me about it and the more I ask the more she pulls away.." His stare focused onto Joshua. He pointed to him. "I don't trust him. She was going out with him that night, what if he did this?"

"God, Derek love ya but you gotta stop. She's happy with him." Mark and Derek had been okay since that night. Derek had thanked Mark for helping her. He stared at the woman sprawled over Cristina on the twister board. 

"I'm very competitive." Cristina whispered to Meredith before spitting in her eye causing both of them to fall. The two screamed as they fell.

"Cristina!" She shoved her arm playfully before wiping her eye off. They had been okay all things considered. Meredith spent most of her days hiding out at her and Teddy's house avoiding Derek. She felt like she was one breakdown away from telling him. She hadn't talked to him in weeks despite going to therapy together. They talked at each other but never to. His eyes watched her like a hawk. She pushed Cris off of her and walked over to Derek smiling. She passed him a beer as a peace treaty. "I'm on call." 

She sighed. "Right." She ended up passing the drink off to Cristina and walked to Meredith's old room.

"This party blows, you want to know what else blows?" She had told Cristina about what happened and deeply regretted it now. They walked into Meredith's old room.

"Mean."

Izzie entered the room. "I think Derek is going to hurt Josh. He is just like staring at him. Do you think Derek has a thing for you or something?" She asked causing Meredith's heart to drop.

"Maybe he has a thing for him." She changed the subject.

"I'm down with the rainbow." Alex made his presence announced.

Meredith and Cristina shared a glance before laughing.

"Whatever, I'm going to find some chic to bang. This party's a dud."

"And just like that my heart is warmed." Cristina placed a hand over her chest meaningfully.

The remaining three ended up playing UNO until Derek entered the room. Meredith took a swig of her drink before getting up off the bed. "If I didn't know you I'd think you're a stalker."

"You haven't been home in weeks and Shannon is worried that you're avoiding me."

"Shannon, right.." 

"Okay I'm worried because you won't talk to me."

"I'm talking now aren't I?" She rolled her eyes deflecting.

He leaned into her whispering. "About the incident?"

"Are you talking about officer BJ over here?"

"Cristina!" Her friend not knowing the seriousness of the situation.

"What?" Derek looked at Meredith who was practically hiding behind her hands.

"You're fucking kidding me." Her voice broke. She walked out into the main room in-which Derek followed her. He was then cut off by Josh holding her close. He gave a death stare to him before walking with her out the door.

"He do this to you?" She nodded lying. She knew it was easier than explaining the real reason. It gave her a reason to not live with him. It gave her a reason to not have to talk about it.

Derek watched on the front porch as the two drove off. He went back in and found Cristina who was playing UNO with Izzie. He sat on the edge of the bed and the room became silent. "She won't talk to me. Please tell me what happened, I.. she's.."

"Dr. Shepherd?" 

"I don't like him.. I don't like him at all." He shook his head in his hands.

"Josh?" Isobel frowned before she gasped. "You like her!"

"I don't.. that's not the point." He stumbled over his words.

"Oh you so do! How are you gonna tell her? Flowers? No! You need to do something big. He's planning on proposing to her. You need to make a grand gesture!" She rambled on not realizing what she was saying made his heart break. Maybe this is where he let her go, maybe this is where he let's her be happy while he saves his marriage.

"God are you five?" Cristina interjected. "I just wanted to play UNO." She threw the cards on the bed.

"I'm not interested, I'm married to Dr. Montgomery. We're just close, never mind." He swallowed the lump in his throat. He dug for his keys in the pocket and left the room. Leaving his wife and best friend behind her drove and he drove for hours. He needed to clear his head but he absolutely couldn't. She needed this proposal, she needed good news. He just wondered why it made him feel like he was going to puke. Once her arrived home Addison was plopped in front of the tv. "Thanks." She spat.

"Sorry." He replied genuinely. This is what their marriage consisted of: small little witty increments. His living room was filled with her impending doom as for Meredith she knew how to light one up. He wasn't lying when he said her smile was magic. He sat on the other side of the couch lost in his thoughts. He didn't want her with someone he could only imagine was the reason she was sobbing. He didn't want her with someone who pulled her away from her friends. Yet he had to let her go. Cristina and Izzie had known him best, and obviously Iz took a liking to him. He wanted to marry her, give her more of a life than Derek and his self sulking could get her. Except he didn't want her to have that ending, he wanted her to end up in his arms, he wanted to marry her. Shit, he had fallen for and now he had to break the news to his wife.