If I jumped

Chapter 3

"Hi", I said and sat down at Granny's counter. "Emma!" Ruby yelled, she ran from behind it and hugged me. I didn't remember that we had been this close, I wasn't sure if we had ever hugged. "It's been so long", I sighed, when a wave of relief washed over me. I had feared our meeting to be way too awkward. "Go sit down in a booth, I'll bring us hot chocolates", Ruby smiled when she let go of me. 

I found us a booth at the back of the restaurant. "Here you go, with cinnamon just like you like it", Ruby put down the cups on the table. "Thank you", I said when she sat down. "When are you coming back to school?" She asked. "I've been away so long that I need to redo the semester. Hopefully, I'll start next fall", I replied sipping the hot chocolate. "I have to ask, how did you get permission to wear that at work?" I asked and felt embarrassed right after. Ruby's outfit was small, way too small. "When it started to attract more customers, Granny still doesn't like it but she likes money so she doesn't have a choice" Ruby laughed, I knew she loved attention, unlike I who hated it. 

"How did you get the idea to text me? I haven't heard from you in months", I had to ask. "I heard your mother talking to Granny about you. I'm sorry I didn't text sooner" I could see shame in her eyes as she shifted them away from me. "It's okay, a month ago I wouldn't have been able to even be a decent friend, but now..." My thoughts trailed off when someone entered the diner.  I turned to see who it was and buried my head into my arms the second I recognized the tall brunette woman, Regina. 

"What's wrong?", Ruby's tone changed in seconds. "That woman that just came in, she's my therapist", I mumbled behind my hands. "Regina Mills is your therapist? She's hot as fuck", Ruby said, I could hear the smirk in her voice. "Let's go and say hi", she pulled my arm but I pushed her back down. "No, absolutely not", I whispered. "I don't want her to see me", I continued. "Too late", Ruby smiled. I turned my head and saw Regina walking towards our booth. "Fuck, fuck, fuck", I sighed under my breath. "Emma", Regina's voice was soft and happy. "Doctor Mills", I replied shifting my eyes to hers. "Didn't I tell you to call me Regina? How are you feeling?" Regina asked and before I could react, her hand was on my shoulder. "I'm fine, Regina", I replied shortly. "I won't bother you too anymore, have a nice day", Regina said, she was gone as quickly as she had appeared. 

"Why the hell did she touch you?" Ruby asked when Regina was far enough not to hear them. "I don't know", I buried my face in my hands again. "Have you heard her backstory? Or the rumors of it?", Ruby changed the subject. "No", I raised my head to face her. "People say that she was forced to marry this old rich guy when she was 18. But he mysteriously died a few years later. Tens of years later she met a man named Robin, but he died to a heart attack not even a year after. Now she raises his son Roland because Roland's mother isn't in the picture", Ruby explained. "That can't be true, forcing someone to marry someone sin't even legal", I argued back. "Look, she's with Roland right now", Ruby said and pointed at the little boy not older than five years old who was now holding Regina's hand. "Maybe the last part is true but not the first part. That doesn't prove anything", I said looking back at Ruby. "When's your next session?" Ruby asked. "Next Wednesday, why?" I had a bad feeling of what Ruby was going to say next. "You could ask her if it's true", there was excitement in Ruby's eyes when she suggested it. "I can't do that", I said. "Can we leave? I'd like to go somewhere else", I continued.

"Do you remember Dorothy?" Ruby asked and took a sip of her beer. "Weren't you two together?"

"Yes we were, but I broke up with her. She said that I'm a monster, which isn't true, is it?" Ruby's energy changed from happy to sad in a blink. "Of course you're not. She doesn't know what she's talking about", I replied and took a sip of my beer. Ruby had stolen some from Granny's, I hadn't drunk in a long time and I felt like I needed it. "Well, I might not be a monster the way she meant it but I definitely can be one in bed", Ruby smirked. "Oh my god", I sighed, I wasn't used to talk like that. 

"Don't you think that your therapist is hot?" Ruby asked while we walked past the library. "I mean, I guess she's fine looking. But I can't say that she's hot, that would be so wrong", I replied. "You just don't want to admit it", Ruby's voice sounded blurry, she was drunk. "Maybe so. Do you want me to take you home? It's pretty late", I said. "No it's fine, it's not far from here but I should go before Granny notices", she laughed. "I should go too", I smiled. "We need to start to hang out more", Ruby said before giving me a quick hug. "Yeah, we do", I agreed, she smelled like beer and vanilla. "Good night!" Ruby yelled after me when we left to opposite directions. "Good night!" I shouted back. I wasn't ready to go back home.

I wandered through Storybrooke's streets and ended up climbing to a tree, I hadn't felt free before that moment. I looked at the small town, it's beautiful lights and how it felt almost dead at night. Then the emptiness came back, I looked down and wandered, would I die if I jumped?