If I jumped

Chapter 10

I rolled around my bed for hours, confused, happy, and even more confused. Did I do something wrong? Yes I did, I kissed my therapist, but on the other hand, she kissed me back. My phone vibrated next to me and I took it into my hands. The clock said 2 am. I had gotten a text from an unknown number.

"Did you get home safe? From: Regina Mills"

My stomach filled with butterflies as I read the text over and over again.

"I did."

"Good."

"How did you get my number?"

"I have my ways..."

"Can we talk about what happened?"

"Can you come by tomorrow?"

I paused and thought for a while. 

"Is 11 am okay?"

"It's perfect."

"See you then."

I shut my phone screen and put it back on the nightstand. I closed my eyes and the next time I opened them it was 10.45 am. I jumped up and rushed up to the bathroom to brush my teeth. "I'm going to Ruby's,"  I yelled to my Mom while putting on my shoes. "Come back before dinner, please!" My Mom yelled after me when I opened the front door.

I ran to Regina's house and knocked on the door. "You're early," Regina whispered when I got in. "Sorry, I didn't look at the clock," I said my breath short. "Did you run here?" Regina asked and raised her eyebrow. "I did", I smiled awkwardly. "Roland will leave with his nanny in a few minutes, could you wait in the living room until then?" she asked. I nodded and headed to the living room, I sat down on the same sofa I had sat on last night.

Regina walked into the room but didn't sit. "Would you like some tea?", she asked. "I would", I got up and walked towards her. "Let's go to the kitchen", Regina sighed before I could reach her, something was bothering her.

We headed to the kitchen, I stood in the doorway while Regina switched on the kettle. "We need to talk about yesterday", she said, turning to face me. "I know, that's why I'm here", I said my heart racing. "We really shouldn't have done that", she said. I stood quiet, trying to find the right words. "I'm not sure if I'm the right therapist for you anymore", Regina continued, her words cut deep, deeper than I had expected. I would have been okay trying to act as if I didn't feel anything but I couldn't bear the thought of not seeing her every week. "I don't want any other therapist. Please, Regina, don't make me start my therapy journey all over again", the words that got out of my mouth sounded more like begging than I had intended. Regina gave out a loud sigh as the kettle turned off. 

I sat down in front of my tea cup, Regina was still leaning on the stove. The tea made my tongue burn but I didn't say anything, didn't show any signs of pain. "Do you regret it?" I asked after an uncomfortable silence. "What?" Regina asked. "Do you regret kissing me?" I asked again. Regina looked at me for a while, she didn't say anything so I shifted my eyes to the hot teacup. I felt tears forming in my eyes, I didn't want to cry. "I don't", Regina said, I looked back at her. She was smiling slightly. "Do you?" she asked. "No", I replied faster than I should've which made Regina smile even bigger. "But we could never be together publicly, you know that right?" Regina asked, I nodded.

After another long silence, Regina sat down in front of me.  "I'm sorry Emma, but I can't do this, not with you, not right now", she said, my heart sank. "What do you mean not right now?" I asked. "We have a way too professional relationship for this to work", Regina said.  "So you'll still be my therapist?" I asked. "Only if we can stay professional", Regina replied. "I swear that we can stay professional", I said. Regina said something under her breath so quietly I couldn't make out the words.

"Roland will be home soon", Regina noted as I got up. "I should leave then", I said, I didn't look at her, I couldn't. Not right now. We walked to the hallway. "See you on Tuesday", I said and grabbed the doorknob. Regina took hold of my hand and pulled me back. Before I could react her lips were against mine. "I thought you said..." I said between kisses, my breath short. "I changed my mind", Regina said against my lips, her hands on my hips. 

"I really need to go now", I said letting go of her. I kissed her one more time before sliding out of the front door. I stood behind her front door taking a few deep breaths before walking out of her yard.