unidentified | billie eilish fanfiction

EIGHTEEN: the morning after

billie

"where we you? you missed me making blueberry pancakes with tt." i said to claudia, who just arrived home.

"aw im so sorry i missed it, i just had a couple errands to run and i thought i'd be done before you guys woke up." she genuinely felt bad.

"hey it's fine, come here. i just made this plate." i gave her a plate of pancakes i had just decorated, feeling like a chef right now. no one talk to me.

"mama, tt, a.b eat pancake!" tytus' eyes glistened from happiness.

"that right tt, good job!" claudia kissed his head. "where's fin?" she asked.

"i think he's in the basement, he said he wanted to wait for you to arrive so he could eat. should i call him?" i said.

"uhhhh.. yes please." she nodded and i made my way to the basement.

"yo finch your wife is here and she's eating without you." i opened the door to his 'soundproof studio'.

"finally!" he jumped up and ran to the kitchen like a literal kid. i walked slowly behind him because i'm not trying to catch them doing gross shit.

"ew!" is all i could hear tt say which told be a made a great dission staying back a little.

"is it safe to pass?" i asked before reaching the last corner before the kitchen.

"so dramatic!" claudia yelled.

"all clear." finneas said right after her.

"well it's been nice being part of this little family once again, i'm ordering an uber and going back home. hugs and kisses." i sent fly kisses towards them and left to wear my shoes.

"wait no, what are you gonna do today do you have any plans?" claudia ran after me.

"nothing, i really just want to be in my room on my own for a bit." i shrugged.

"okay, call me if you need anything." she said.

"i'll be fine." i assured her.

"i'm sure you will be but i'm just a phone call away." she said before hugging me then proceeded to turn around to head back to the kitchen.

"text me when you get home!" finneas yelled.

"i will!" i yelled back before stepping out the door.

☆☆☆

i'm scared to be alone. feeling lonely and being alone are two different things. somehow i found a way to attract both. i don't want to get old and wrinkly and not have someone that would sacrifice all they have for me to be by my side. i want someone to hold my hand when things get bad and comfort me when i'm sad.

i feel lonely in so many ways, even when i'm surrounded by so many people that care for me and love me i still feel like no one really gets me. i feel isolated from any connection with any human being, it sucks ass.

"hello ma'am, your order has arrived outside your door." the delivery guy said.

"alright thank you for your service." i hung up the phone and got up to get my order. i grabbed a spoon on my way up and flopped back onto my bed and watched the office once again, the only thing different is that i have a tub of ice cream.

i wonder of she's heartless on top of being an asshole. does this even effect her like it effects me? i'm not gonna die because i lost her, but i really thought something might happen between us.