chapter twelve

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December 14th, 1994

Cedric had been observing for quite some time, talking to his friend Winston, talking to the twins, and laughing.

He reminded himself to be thankful they could exist in the same place, at this moment, without an argument or uncomfortable tension.

The reason could be that he didn't believe she had noticed him yet, but he pushed that feeling aside abruptly. Cedric didn't even want to come, he didn't want to ruin her night with his existence.

Winston had heard of this from different voices throughout the day, begging Cedric to come for three class periods straight. Cedric made up excuse after excuse until Winston said something worth going for.

"Don't you want to just let loose, Ced? Pretend as if nothing matters? Give yourself another opportunity to talk to the woman you are unconditionally in love with?" He said after leaving class, a mischievous grin across his face.

"She hates me, Winston. You know this." Cedric huffed in response, following behind while shaking his head. What a stupid reason, he thought.

"She doesn't hate you. She can't express how she feels, idiot. She wouldn't bother talking to you in the first place, all she does is avoid her feelings for you." His friend responded, giving him a soft shove.

So there Cedric is, sitting on a random couch in Blaise's room, trying to drink as much as he could before things changed.

Clementine looked stunning tonight, with her darker brunette hair a little more straighten than usual, her smile seemed ridiculously contagious, and all she could is laugh with that beautiful smile.

The sight of her laughter and smile made Cedric's heart pound so hard, he swore his friends around him could hear it. He couldn't help but be mesmerized by her existence.

She easily had to be the most attractive person in the room, he thought. He knew all the boys wanted to talk to her, maybe even crack on her, but they wouldn't knowing that Cedric was around.

This girl he loved and cherished seemed to be in the room tonight for the first time since Cedric had messed everything up. This girl was happy, outgoing, and even playful.

Her usual scowl, which only he really saw anymore, was replaced by something that felt more familiar. The way her mouth curved up when Blaise told her a joke was a sight he longed for up close again.

The boy knew he shouldn't be drowning in his own self-pity, wishing for something he felt wasn't there anymore, but he wondered if it ever left in the first place. It sure didn't leave him.

As the music cranked up, and people wandered around the room, Cedric felt this get together was falling to the end.

He wondered if he should walk himself back to his dorm room, he'd probably get caught with the way his head fell into a haze when he stood up, but he realized shortly he might've been full of bad choices.

"I'm going to call it a night, fellas." Cedric gave a few students a wave goodbye and a few insincere hugs, finding himself alone in the hallways.

A few more peers were sneaking back into their common rooms, Cedric offered them a sweet smile as they passed by, stumbling from corner to corner.

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